Like it's pretend

 They told me not to worry 
But we in a hurry.
I wonder if I'll die making money 
Or die to self?
I often think 
Dear God why you love me?
When I nearly died
I saw the light 
You told me to go back.
Have I lost heaven
I have lost many friends.
If I lived many years ago
A monk's occupation 
I wouldn't deny.
But I love the drink
The women and the scene,
A Solomon in disguise 
Without the title of a king. 
Paul is my hero
One day I'll be a missionary
When did I fall asleep
Dear Lord, wake me from my current misery.
I love the time alone
But I've got to change,
Let me reach out first
And show love to all my kins.
I don't want to be a Judas
To find out in the end
He says depart from me
I never knew who you were.
Jesus is my joy
Make me deeply holy
I wonder how my life will end?
There is life after
But at the moment 
Why am I living like it's pretend?

K.Oni

I want to see your soul

I want to see your soul
Know all your hurts and pain
I don't want to be asleep whilst you are aching.
Life ain't easy, we all got dramas
I just want to be there and help and pick up the pieces. 
I've been alone for too long,
For you, I discarded my isolated peace,
So your throwing stones won't make me leave.

K.Oni

Tell me something

 Tell me something nice about me, I want to hear.
Do something nice for me, I want to see.
Spend some time with me, I want to feel,
The love of a friend that loves me for me.
Give me a gift, I don't mind what it is,
As long as you thought of me in the process, that's all I mean.
Tell me about you, I can listen all-day
Let me know what makes you glad
I'll happily comply.
Life is hard, although it is a gift, it comes with an emotional price.
Let's make it easier by being kind all the time.

K.Oni

I fall

Well, it is not worth the thought to think on the facts of prudery - 

On a mountain thinking of how her sympathy made me lonely.

Ah, it is cold - my significance has greatly diminished.

The horizon was never meant to be reached only seen.

Ah, I fall - alas I fall again in vain love!

K.Oni

Her future is clear and occupied with success

Her future is clear and occupied with success.
She is accomplished and adorned with beauty of all kinds.
My admiration is palpable
It stings me into a condemned loyalty!
Condemned, yet no bitterness dismay
No hidden rue
Or malice to wish her unwell
Only wellness I pray as each night I toast to her creed.

K.Oni

The sanity she gives

Her golden hair streamed in the glean of the pleasant rays-
Wonderful, wonderful, the birds marvel.
And my eyes swayed not from her engaging path -
O, for love, I am in love
And I fear ten million more are
Ebbed in the flows of her gratifying ways.
That I the lowest of them all,
Like grass the last to feel the sun's radiant warmth
Would receive only the residue of her light.
But fear not I, fear not I
For the moments of joy, enjoyed when in
Long or short, imagining our time,
Not in lust but love and trust,
Side by side, favouring God's dove upon us.
O, the sanity she gives
My Esther and Rachel
And I Abraham and Jacob to her!

K.Oni

The last flower

This blossoming flower 
Sent as a reminder, 
Was the last testament of declaration 
And a silent withdrawal 
That she could never be mine!

K.Oni

Your light blueish eyes

Your light blueish eyes

Round figure and exuberant smile

Candour qualities and respectable charm

Warms my heart whenever far or nigh.

I see you whenever it's time to worship
I see your face, and your thoughts I tried to put away
I am torn and when I'm on my knees I see your countenance
The eloquence of His grace takes me far away.

I am far too busy to fall in love
If I ask her to marry me, she will increase my love for Christ
I long to be hers; hand by hand on the pilgrim way.

Fresh fortitude I take today, to declare in a letter my love to thee;
You need not be afraid of refusing my proposal
For bless God, he will free me from this passion if need.

I am convinced this is the will of God
That I should altar my state
Your denial will prove to me
You were not the pilgrim marked out for my way.

Love for a woman could and will not dislodge my Love for Christ
But many times I have prayed that you should be my One.
I would not marry but for Him and in Him, for ten thousands worlds.
Christ is my life and my all and my God.

Her light blueish eyes
Round figure and exuberant smile
Candour qualities and respectable charm
Warms my heart whenever far or nigh.

K.Oni

This is an adaptation of one I wrote in 2011

Let me see his beauty and more

Let me see his beauty and more,
As I do my duty until I reach the shore
Of everlasting, of the never-ending days
Of glory, wrapped in eternal love.
O my King, the faithful One,
Comfort me with your words of love,
I weep for the days I have grieved thee
I thank you for forgiving me.
May I rest in your love and more
And I'll carry my cross until I reach your shores.

K.Oni

The Joy of confession - My heart aches

There was a boy who came to me late last night with this depressing poem. A feeling I understand too well. I counselled him pointing him to the love of Christ which never fails but it did him no good. His whole disposition was awful, reeking of misery and despair. I prayed for him remembering well the time of my misery and how God had used such a rejection to awaken me from my slumber to seeking first his kingdom. That whole episode resulted in me taking up the cross never to look back towards Egypt.


Suddenly she turned cold
the harshness is killing me
Taken as an enemy
Her feelings stone cold.
I understand the cruelty
To move on she abandons me
I am praying without hope.
Relentless tears, sleepless nights
Daylight aches
My heart breaks.

K.oni

My nights are lived alone

Now in my misery, forsaken by humanity.
My nights are lived alone
Whilst the stars have too many company.
Is it because I choose to stay inside
When wild nature beckons me?
I am cursed, scarred from past rejections,
Unworthy I, undeserving of kind humanity?
My misery haunts, eats away
Until I think death is all I need.
My nights are lived alone
My hollowed heart beyond repair.
Despairing all alone,
Chained inside the awkwardness of my soul.

K.Oni

Whilst She strolls on nature's realm

The lilies blush at her kiss
The faintest touch warms the butterflies cone
Earth and sky bow in jubilant awe
Encouraging the rain to shower a dance.
Music plays her favourite song
Light displays her flashiest glow
And seeds arise growing gloss
Whilst She strolls on nature's realm.

K.Oni

My dear sweet pound

My dear sweet pound
How I need thee in my arms
To bring me things that makes me smile
To take me places where I can dance.
I love you more than any mortal form
You are the substance my working eye seeks.
For thee I travel and cry, sigh when your comfort is out of my sight.
But you are a weedy little thing,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
Yet you command my every deed
Without thee I shall soon become a seed.
My dear sweet pound, the loviliest of all nickel-brass,
When on heaven's shore I reach
Standing beneath the judges bench,
To ask for that which was his own
To thee will I say has bought me whole.

By K.Oni

The fairest princess there ever was

A frog once asked me who I thought the prettiest elegant creature was. I said a princess of course. Nothing as fair as her innocent heart. The frog then said that 'if I a trusting boy should be, a kiss from you, a princess will have.' I closed my eyes and stretched out my lips, only to open them to see the fairest princess there ever was. 

K.Oni

Nobody ever said I had pretty eyes

I Don't really want to wake up today,

I want to close my eyes to be far from the pain,

Today is full of rain.

I want to smile but my soul can't see the need.

You'll never hear me scream, but I bleed like a sacrificial lamb. 

A prisoner of my own history, with no friends

They don't really care, but they'll say my analysis is not fair.

Back-packing through life with the shadow of my own death,

I really want to care, but nobody understands, So

I keep running, but I end up in myself.

Don't think I'm cold if I don't say hello,

In times like these I just want to be free, to see

To believe, to release, to think that there's happiness for me,

Because you see, as a youth, let me tell you a truth

I cried alone, almost swallowed a stone so I would choke,

Then my life would be broke.

I learnt life ain't nothing but tears

Full of fears as I watched my best friend taking away by meth.

Nobody stops to notice the man on the street

Or the rich middle class girl on speed,

Getting A's but she won't take a break

In-case you realize that she's a fake.

Death is all we are owed

Life is empty in a eyes that is full of sadness.

And when they bury me, bury me fast

Send me away with one of my beats, play it once so the crowd can hear

My attitude to living, for being, now I'm glad I'm leaving.

Forgive me Mama for drama, I never worked hard like my papa,

But it was always on my mind, that I was no good, of no earthly use.

Feeling ugly and alone, so my feelings went stone cold.

I used to be bold, now I won't even hold a conversation about being old,

Because souls like mine are always ready to dine with death,

Nobody ever said I had pretty eyes, so I made them sad.

And she believes that no one can love a girl with scars

So I took her to meet the man with eternal scars.

He can understand, even though you are struggling to feel alive, let me lend you a hand.

This is true love, calling me at 4 am because she knows I'll be awake,

Staring out at the sky, wanting to fly to be free from this hard ground.

Death is all we are owed

Life is empty in a eyes that is full of sadness. 

By K.Oni

Poem: It is with me

It is with me as the poor man's plea

For a change, to a hostel sleep

But not as deep as Poseidon's sea

Or as high as the Messiah's seat.

My love is mortal at best

When it rest, no jest can undo thy vest,

For it sets in a heart with sinful pests,

It rest amidst a fraudulent will.

It is with me as any mother's child,

My love for thee, is as odd as all things rare.  

K.Oni

Poem: If ever

A poem for Ben Saunders

If ever a gentle river had a soul, It would yours be.
If ever a stream beamed with light, It would yours display.
And if ever the sunshine smiled, It would yours discover, and rest in eternal blush.
If ever a friend I need,
Whose deeds is as innocent as rainbow's kids,
Then yours, in rush I employ, 
Along with ten thousands more.*


*By this phrase it means that not only me but a lot of other people would seek his help too.

K.Oni

Poem: Woman in beauty

When the sun sets beneath its shades, 

Covered by mountains underneath its aims, 

When clouds aloof the awesome sky

Below the earth of arduous rise, 

Then I am a shooting star, 

A releasing arm in a lover's town, 

Where once, I saw her ravened black hair, 

Glimmering with life that only Cano Cristales* could live – poverty in Spirit,

An enemy to villainy,

Woman in beauty, a sage in learning and a Christ in holiness.

* Cano Christales is known as "the river that ran away from paradise" and it is located in northern Columbia

K.oni

Alone

Lonely and sad, 
From family and friends apart.
All things above, here and below
No place for me to bond.
I wander here and wander there 
Alone without a mate 
Even trees without a feeling 
Shun my very being. 

K.Oni

No more Alpha

Boy: My eyes sore with sorrow
        for alpha no longer will be here
        in the distant 'morrow

Girl: Yet do not remain with sad sad eyes

        For all things pass and grant new paths;

        Know that a future and hope ahead lies

       To restore all things through Him who died.

By Ken Oni & Carrie-Anne White