Can never be!

It is a strange thing that I should fall for you
Although unwanted and undesired.
Yet I find myself in this static state
Of fixed emotion attracted to your ways.



But my love is a tragic play
A calamity at best the tale will portray
      Therefore
I must resist any notion of a happy day.


I speak thus for there is fear within
A plot which age has made more real
A scene I wish you no part to take
So silence must be the course I emulate.


Life is not life but death to me
Joy is but sorrow 
And love a dread
The passions I know are few and blue.


It is a strange thing that I should fall for you
And stranger yet that you should fall for me
But we as contrary as life and death
We like the seasons can never be!



( The last line of this poem is meant to mean that just like summer and winter can never meet that is to be at the same time likewise they can never be together). 

K.Oni

Psalm 11 - An exposition

This is a Psalm of absolute trust in the secure refuge of the Lord. David is in some trouble and his friends are warning him to quickly flee to the mountains where he can find refuge and safety. This is not a terrible suggestion but David’s reaction to their advice suggest that He should stop trusting in the refuge of the Lord and succumb to human protection and advice. David rejects their suggestion and places supreme confidence in the refuge of the Lord.

There is much to learn from this Psalm; the faithful of old have also secured their future in the refuge of the Lord and God has protected them and brought each of them home to his heavenly Kingdom. Likewise we also ought to possess the same confidence and be willing missionaries unafraid of the arrows of the enemies knowing with full confidence that we are protected and covered by the shield of Yahweh in which no arrows could penetrate.

David begins the Psalm by declaring Vs1 In the LORD I take refuge. If you are in continual danger and are prone to attacks from your enemies, this is a declaration of which you ought to begin your day. In the LORD I take refuge. God is the creator of all things and he is sovereign over all things so it stands to perfect reason that He is stronger than all things and therefore he is the safest and secure of refuge. Who is your enemy? Will they be stronger than God and who is your refuge? Will they be able to defend you better than God? In the negative for God is the absolute defender and protector and He delights in protecting those who trust in him. This is why Jesus could say to His disciples ‘Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God believe also in me’. If God is your fixed refuge then your reaction would be like that of David when your friends tell you to trust in their advise and abandon God’s protection. You will say to them How then can you say to me: “Flee like a bird to the Mountain. vs. 2 For look, the wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart. Vs 3 When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?”. David’s dangers were imminent and so maybe yours. His enemies are lurking in the shadows waiting eagerly to strike. David is aware of their wicked ways but yet he is firm. His friends are full of worry and in their tender care for David’s life they advise him to flee like a bird to the mountain because the foundations are being destroyed therefore there is nothing the righteous can do but abandon their faith and hope in Jehovah.  But David knows a different God, a God whose foundations can never be shaken, whose foundations is like the sun forever shining in its glory. David knowing the unshakable nature of God’s foundation rebukes his friends for their advice and maintains his stand that In the Lord will I take refuge. When trouble surrounds your soul and all seems to be falling down; your house is shaken, your fear is multiplied, when the cares of this world darkens your day, remember the beauty of His majesty. Remember the sure foundations of His kingdom and heed not to foolish advise from mortal men. Those who trust in the Lord are able to stand firm in the midst of great trials because God’s foundations are never shaken and can never be shaken. Has Christ not triumph over death and has he not taken away the sting of sin.  Christ is the victor and He is the Kyrios.

David is firm of the Lord’s foundations and goes on to declare the uprightness of God’s nature and How he will protect the righteous that is those who make God their refuge. Vs 4 The Lord is in his Holy Temple; the LORD is on his heavenly throne. He observes everyone on earth; his eyes examine them. God sits in Heaven governing the affairs of men and we see sitting at his right Hand his precious Son who died for the saints. Why then should you fear? For Christ is forever interceding for us and it is written that nothing can separate us from Christ and just as Christ is committed to our protection so also is His Father. Did Jesus not say “Neither shall anyone snatch them out of my hand. My Father who has given them to me is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand”, John 10:28-29. You belong to Christ therefore you are secured as surely as the morning will come; do not fear but abide in the safety of His refuge.

It is a terrible and pleasing thing to know that God examines all men and his examination have concluded with one universal result; that is, that all men have fallen short of his glory and there is no one good not even one. All are worthless and deserve death, all are corrupt and wicked. This doctrine of universal depravity being true, yet, there are those who are righteous; that is, those who are trusting in the mercy of Yahweh and counting upon his grace as shown in the death of death that is of the death of his Son. The righteous are those who live by faith and a faithful man is one who makes Yahweh his refuge. If your soul confesses that Jesus is your Lord and Saviour then God delights in observing you for Vs 5 The LORD examines the righteous. This examination is all for your good; the LORD considers your ways and measures up how he may improve your character to be more like His Son. So his major concern is your sanctification; He notices your blemishes and He comes with a tender hand to clean you and wash you. Therefore you have no need to fear of the wrath to come for God has destined you for salvation. But those who are wicked, that is, those not willing to trust in Christ and thus be just and righteous, God examines their ways with a different look. His eyes his set upon them for condemnation and anytime he desires he could immediately let their foot slide and therein they shall enter the misery of his wrath for all eternity. But now while there is breath in them, he pleads with them to forsake their evil ways and come under his refuge, upon the refuge of his cross wherein all the eternal wrath have been absorbed by his Son. If you remain in your sins and do not come to Christ then you are wicked and it is says of the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion. Passion is described as being an intense emotion it is an overpowering emotion which only shows God’s perfect hatred for sin and against those who practise it. And because of this intense hatred which is perfectly just, loving and Holy, Vs. 6 He will rain fiery coals and burning sulphur; a scorching wind will be their lot. God does nothing in half measures, the Just receive in abundance of his divine love and grace likewise the wicked will be punished in the fullness of his wrath. Sodom and Gomorrah, the immoral twin cities were witnesses of the wrath of Jehovah and all perished except those who heed and trusted in Yahweh. History is available to teach us and wise men will be quick to trust and rest in the refuge of the LORD but those who are proud and self seeking, who want to do things their way will find out in the end that the wrath of God is their eternal portion. I wish you not to have this portion so I plea with you to have mercy and glory for your eternal satisfaction. Flee from the wrath to come.

God punishes evil and wicked men because Vs 7 the LORD is righteous, he loves Justice; the upright will see his face. Therefore do not grow weary in doing good, never repay evil with evil but delight in Justice and mercy; delight in the security of the poor and spend your time doing good. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled. You shall be filled with God himself; the whole trinity shall make their dwelling with you. Because the foundations of God is firm forever, what have you to fear oh feeble saint? Do you not know that Him who is with you is greater than all of those who are against you. Do not fear little one for it is your Father’s delight to give you the kingdom. Therefore do not be afraid but declare to the spiritual host of wickedness that Christ is your refuge and your deliverer.

K.Oni

Highs and lows of University

Undoubtedly the lows of my university experience is the consistency of failure to meet up to expectations in regards to degree results and whilst some were exceedingly good others which counted where exceedingly low. A disappointing period I would say in terms of marks and grades and upon reflection, a hard working spirit may have worked harder and thus gained better results. But this is all past and one must look to the future but the past has a way of shaping one’s future and although certain of a pass nevertheless it is not what my soul would have desired. This injury has the attributes to conjure up all sorts of depressing emotions and self condemnation but above all it is the view of others about oneself of which the flesh is apt  to feel most ashamed.

The highs of university have been in the areas outside the academic realm, such as the building of friendship and fellowship; the developments of one’s character and the indisputable accolade of sporting achievement which to be fair is relatively minor. I am also astonished at the improvement of my soul forever moving heavenwards and having a fixed trajectory upon ministry duties and a hunger to grow in all knowledge concerning godliness and to knowing with un-surpassing measure the one they called Christ, the Son of the Living God. Critical to mention is also the ongoing attempt of my soul to fight off my entangling sins of which at times have almost crippled me and dull my blade and if not for that heavenly doctrine of justification by faith alone I would have perhaps been as that miserable soul who was forever locked up in the dungeon of despair.

The Lord as exalted me and He has humbled me. He has walked me through the road of humiliation and it is there in which I have learnt humility, that I have learnt all boasting to be futile and all self-righteousness to be fleeting. It is a common thing although deadly to base one’s life and identity upon one’s achievements and worldly merits although  these are of good advantage if one adheres to the wisdom proclaimed in the book of proverbs. The Lord has his way to make his saints trust in nothing else except Himself (God) and whereas the future may look rather depressing to them, God in His sovereignty is shaping lights and white garments for their wearing and crowning.

Now, in all sincerity, feeling my future to be blank, I have a good faith that the Lord has already filled it with all such pleasantries which delights his Soul for I am convinced that I am a Son of his and therefore everything is for my good. Although I know not how or how things may take the shape for worse yet I am convinced that all in all Christ has me in his hands and therefore will shape my destiny and will to meet his divine purpose.

K.Oni

Rene and Poet - part 8

Poet: Oh Rene, you cannot say to the fire, you shall not burn so it is with my love. It burns at the highest degree and it is forever increasing. Her flame is of that reddish nature of which legends have called the phoenix and I am the only one to have touched it and not melt because my love for her is unquenchable. Though many waters collapse upon my fire it shall shine all the brighter. 


Oh Rene, in my imagination I could feel the sweetness of love itself graze my skin and light up the house. It was her presence which pioneered nature’s morning song. I remember sitting with fixed eyes glaring with a transcendence attention at her eyes, hearing beauty speak of tranquil matters which quietens her soul. It charmed her heart as she spoke so softly but my heart was alarmed for she spoke of a man, an heavenly man of whom she has met and it is clear that he has won her heart. 


Oh Rene, I wish to break and tear my soul in pieces for falling so short but she spoke of Christ of whom there is no equal. In heaven or in earth He is one of a kind. She tells of how He is inside her and at night she would all of a sudden be filled with a torrent of emotion that lifts up her soul to heaven itself where her eyes sees the Christ and how he dwells with her and comforts her soul with his earthly stories. She spoke and I listened.


Rene: Poet, it seems your love is of a nice spirit; now we are sure of the source of her disposition. I shall love to meet her too but it is all of your imagination. Lets hope this comply with reality.

K.Oni

Plenty of food

A good reason for avoiding revision is by volunteering at the wild goose café which exist to serve the homeless people of Bristol. It provides free meals in the evening and in the day to those who are less fortunate and are in need for a meal to nourish their souls. I helped out in the evening and whilst in the day I felt remarkably tired due to a lack of sustenance nevertheless my essence was in a jubilant shape because of how my day was merrily spent.

I was picked up at seven in the evening and shortly arrived at the café. The street outside displayed a multicultural display of the citizens who represented the community. Upon entering the café, we were jovial at the abundance of food provided and how happy many will feel at the abundance of drink that they could have and take away. The evening produced such excitements and many of the volunteers were glad to serve and we each did our duty with gladness of heart.

I took the role of buttering the bread for a while and this duty occupied me for almost the first 45 minutes and then I engaged in washing up. For a reason known to myself I wanted to do this task and in doing this duty I began to reflect as is common to my spirit. Washing the trays I pondered that Christ is the washer of my life, that I, a sinner is dirty and unclean but Christ has washed me (1 Cor 6) and is also continually washing me (sanctification) until I am fully transformed to His image.

I took the time to talk to some people and I asked them each this question. I asked some whether they were looking forward to tomorrow. The answer given was almost universal in the sense that their answer portrayed a pessimistic attitude and a flavour of survival. I was saddened by this reaction but knew not how to console their souls for our time was brief. I commented to one that I was looking forward to tomorrow especially the morning. He asked me why and I told him it was because God’s mercies are renewed every morning so I cannot wait for the rising of the sun for God’s mercies are renewed towards me. He marvelled and nod his head and went about his way. My spirit was exceedingly high for the evening and time soon demanded our departure.


There was a guy at the end whose condition was of a drunken soul and felt not to be of this world as his mind was fixed in another realm and he came late and begged for food. But all the food had been happily eaten and thus could only offer him a handful of bread and water. He complained and begged a while and then conceded and retire with the only food available. May God bless his soul and aid him in the process of his recovery.


Also I learnt a sad tale because one of the volunteers whom I have grown to love is leaving and tonight was his penultimate service. He is to leave and bid us farewell and I as I am able to remember in two weeks will endeavour to bring him a card or a gift. He dropped me home and  then I fell sweetly upon my bed to contemplate the word’s of Christ in John 14 and then slept with a full mind at the joy of my beloved being in me and I in Him.


K.Oni

A prayer for my soul

Oh God of glory
Thou art mighty and lifted high
I am but a worm, a fading flower
I am here today and gone tomorrow.
My feelings are like the wind, it blows without direction
And I'm soon to move with its waves.
I find myself without words to say
I am dismayed at my abject poverty
Yea poverty of soul and lack of faithfulness.
I long to cry and weep with mighty tears
At how far I have fallen and yet I feel a force hold me so firm.
To drop but I cannot and I find myself on my knees to say this prayer.
Hear the misery of my heart and come to me.
Come quickly before I am taken over
For in darkness there is no one to praise you.
I am prone to wonder - keep me firm and steady.
Oh how you have humbled my soul 
And the morning I wait for, for your steadfast kiss
And promised mercy 
That once again I may drink of your mercy and grace
And be covered with the light of your face.


K.Oni

The forgotten country: France

It is to my joy that I have the wonderful opportunity to be friends with two amazing godly individuals who live in France. Derek and Melissa are real fire fighters for the gospel of Christ and I have seen in them a passion for the gospel that I've rarely seen in most young adults. Their audible faith in a silent nation is a witness of how lukewarm perhaps our faith is here in England where there are many churches but so little passion for social and heart transformation. I asked Derek and Melissa to prepare an article and they chose to prepare one on France on the gospel work that is happening there. The article is brief but worth a read and will also inform you of how you can be praying for this forgotten land.

I/ Religious Background in France 

When in the United Kingdom John Wesley Charles Spurgeon and others were bringing a revival in the country, Emile Zola, Victor Hugo, Gustave Flaubert and others were bringing a stream of Humanism in France that lead to the law of Laïcity in 1905. It officially is forbidden to speak about Jesus, praise Jesus in public places or buildings. France literally kicked God out of France. And now we are reaping the fruits: Only 1 church for 30 000 inhabitants! The average member in a church in France is 50. France is also known as the missionary graveyard. We don’t really carry the burden to speak for Jesus in our local areas and thus overall France is in Darkness. 

II/ The creation of the CNEF: 

It was created last june! It was a historical event, it is a national council for all evangelicals in France. ( Charistmatics, Baptists, Pentecostals, and other evangelicals). The aim is to work together with the 400 000 christians in France to impact our country, to be known to the authorities to speak as one voice in unity and to plant churches in France; 1 for 10 000 inhabitants. There is much work to be done!!! There are more Christians in Pakistan than in France!!! ( in numbers and percentage) We pray and intercede for our country. It is new for us as it seems that God is bringing revival to the Youth. 

III/ Youth in France 

In several churches in France we noticed a passion for Christ and a genuine desire to share what He has done to us. The Spirit is like “wind” we don’t know where it comes from nor do we know where it goes. Some evangelism trainings have been launched ( R2E-REF) so that we would be equipped and trained to pass on the vision to the new generation. It is so encouraging to be part of the Plan of God and to be used as a servant of His Majesty. It really seems that a new generation is rising up, wanting to know God, and wanting to see God's power and love change lives ! Many evangelism camps have been organized (Plagestation, Light on the Street, Bouge ta Ville Mulhouse...), allowing the youth to use dances, flyers, songs and different tools to reach the lost. Of course, this is only one week in a person's life. But little is much when God is in it!  

Please pray for France, pray for more workers to the large harvest!!! 

Derek.S and Melissa.V