Miscellanies 103

The Lord is kind to me, but I am unkind to him. I am unkind because often I neglect him and forget his benefits. I run away from his promises and pursue my own dreams.

Every morning He kisses me with grace and mercy. He allows me to live in His love and so many times I have failed to abide in His love. Yet He pursues me, He chases after me, He prunes me and much less than I deserve, He disciplines me. O, for more of the rod! There are others more holy who are yet under greater strokes than rebellious me.

He is kind to me and I pray each day to be obedient to His ways. For His yoke is easy and His burden light. Let me do away with my own burden and take His upon me, how light should I feel. Very light indeed as if floating through the air of worry.

K.Oni

Miscellanies 102

Now that I am in the 28th year of my life, my soul is still not as holy as it should be. I feel no advancement in flesh and soul, but a stagnation. Perhaps I am being too harsh on myself, too critical because I expect more, yet I have failed miserably. In all this, I am still full of zeal to advance, to accomplish my dreams, to forget past mistakes, to move ahead and glorify God before I breathe my last. 

I have forgotten to write. I have left off the commentaries, the poems, the fiction, the miscellanies, the encouragements. For a while, I lost all faith in my talent even though it was only one talent, yet a talent nevertheless. And the master that I serve expects me to put this to good use and not shelve it. O poor me, but do not pity me, I have been hidden from the light, I have been in the darkness although not entirely. 

I have aims and objectives to accomplish this year, and each is beyond my means that they must be accomplished by faith. I have to take risks because, without the taken of risks, no man ever accomplished anything. I must be willing to face loss in whatever shape she kisses me. I must embrace her but not let failure defeat me or bury me in the grave of hopelessness. 
True, in this life we live but a little and die too soon. We die unexpectedly or die with regrets. Let my last gaze at the sun be full of cheer on the dawn of my departure. Let me welcome eternity with a bright smile. Let me love this old earth with joy inexpressible spreading the fragrance of Christ to every soul. Let me love well and sleep well in the peace of Christ. Let me write well; dear Lord, let me serve well!

K.Oni

I am defeated by love

I am defeated by love
The thunder of my life is gone.
I have no strength left,
No portion left worth taking,
My Lion's roar is gone!
Help!I cannot help myself
Bless! I cannot bless myself!
K.Oni

The beloved Queen of Awe

After all these years
Her beauty unfading, unfailing,
Hallowed, even the mighty thunder, bows
And chivalrous love in earnest ascends
To her sunlit chambers,
Where melody and meaning serve
The beloved Queen of Awe.

K.Oni

Jesus comes for me

Jesus, please come in and eat with me.
I am a sinner. You are holy!
But, I believe in your gospel
That in you I am righteous.
I rest in your perfection.
I have two loaves of bread and two fishes,
Hardly a dinner fit for a King!
But I set what I have before you with gladness
Because I know that I am loved by you,
That I am sought by you.
How glad I am that you came to knock for me 
To seek me with delight, to want me
Even after I have wronged you!
O what Love, what sweet love!
I am to pursue others in this way.

K.Oni

Poem: I have lost myself

I have lost myself in a dark alley
pining in the deep depths of relational woes.
Groping with no will to rise
Craving my own eternal demise.
What is this world, what is love?
Who am I after she has gone
Dead to me, alive to him!
Dead to me, I am dead to me.
Who am I? This human shape
Which once hoped in the light of day
Then in a day, or more, in successes of days
Isolation became my only way.
I fear the light of love
Hatred too I cannot adore
Feelings too severe severed from me
Loosing myself in this dark alley of isolation!

K.Oni

A prayer for my soul

I want to do well in this life for the sake of Christ my King.
Indeed! I am yours Lord, I surrender it all to thee
Use me as thou will, I will not begrudge your will.
Thank you Father, mercy each day to me you give
You have blessed me with all heavenly riches
May I not squander it on worthless things.
King of my heart, the joy of my soul,
Christ my King is all the time my own
May I never forget thee, have you always before me
And live this life for the sake of Christ my King.

K.Oni