This numbing feel

What is it to be, to see the darkness in the coldness of the heat. The mind wonders through barren fields, mortar and ashes are the grass under my feet. The dead sky lingers above stifling my scene, agonizing appeal, I hear the fleeing birds shriek. Is it all an immortal dream, where mortals weak, and sovereign hands cannot relieve this dark unsettling thing, in my mind where all my feelings reach. 

Speak not, my mouth silent be. Muted ears to an outsider's speech; but faint noise, yet too loud causes an antagonistic feel. Help! But their eyes my pain cannot greet. This darkness, did it arise from an ancient creed, or programmed from the seed? 

Refrain from commenting on my existence, unless my lips upon yours be, then for a minute, or for the length of our misdeed, I feel a sensation until the climatic release. It feels like the sun through the clouds break, but after sleep, I awake with a numbing feel, of the darkness in the coldness of the heat; my mind wonders through deeper barren fields, mortar and ashes are the grass still under my feet. 

K.Oni

Blind to her vices

Her keen mind penetrates my august soul, 
Harmless beauty, superficially gentle, 
To my evening eyes, under weather, 
Cold but kind, the mask of the dawn 
Unleashes a soft storm, 
Pulsating like a consecrated stream. 
Hallowed, the strength of my humane loyalty 
To her method of profound cupidity. 
Stillness awe, hilarity gathering 
Beneath hidden thoughts. 
Respectful, courteous to her proud ways, 
A cheap fanatic, but fantastically extraordinary. 


K.Oni

There's a lady I want to make my own

There's a lady I want to make my own 

Who makes my life shine, dazzling Gold. 

She is all lovely and never strange to me 

But it is a shame, my shame 

That she doesn't feel the same


K.Oni

I say goodbye to my sins

I say goodbye to my sins  Never to sleep with you again,  Fair well Iron master!

K.Oni

Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus

Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus I see no reason why he would not weep for me Though not in flesh our friendship be I feel him as friendly wind on the skin. I remember when my doubts disquieted me And worry like waves drowned me in her sea, Jesus came by calming the gale Dispelling every fear without and within. Jesus wept for his friend Lazarus When my eyes close he will weep for me Though he knows in a moment I shall be by his side That will not stop aching tears falling fresh from his eyes.

K.Oni

Is it right to wish to die

Is it right to wish to die
To kiss this existence a sweet goodbye?
For my heart no meaning found,
To see another sunrise 
Will not produce a smile.
Empty is the life within,
The waves of my sea 
Calm and calmless be.
Forgotten by the sight I see
Perhaps heaven is the place I ought to be.
Goodnight world, goodnight stars,
Dear flowers your smell I will not miss
And voices heard no more I'm glad
For peace and silence shall be the state of my heart. 
No more longing, 
No more feeling
Goodbye World, 
Is it right for me to want to die. 

K.Oni

The Remedy for Paralyzed Sinners & Fallen Saints. Matthew 6:23

God did his most deadly work to destroy hopelessness and futility and provincial cowardice. He gave up his Son to torture and death. A perfect life, a perfect death, and the decisive work was done.

But there are millions who are numb to hope because of the God-belittling things they have done and how ugly they have become. They don't lift lofty arguments against God's Truth; they shrug and feel irretrievably outside. They don't defy God consciously; they default to cake and television. Except for the periodic rush of sex and sport and cinema, life yawns. There is no passion for significance. For many, no passion at all.

There is a Christian version of this paralysis. The decision has been made to trust Christ. The shoot of hope and joy has sprung up. The long battle against sin has begun. But the defeats are many, and the plant begins to wither. One sees only clouds and gathering darkness. The problem is not perplexing doctrine or evolutionary assaults or threats of persecution. The problem is falling down too many times. Gradually the fatal feeling creeps in: the fight is futile; it isn't worth it.

Along with this hopelessness and futility, especially since 9/11, provincial cowardice captures many Christian minds. They fear that it may sound conceited to call every people group in the world to trust Christ or perish. It seems too global. Too sweeping. Too universal. To say it takes their breath away. And, worse, it brings down the wrath of the tolerant. What could be more arrogant than to think that the infinite variety of need in all the cultural groups of the world could be met by a single Savior!

It is astonishing that the biblical gospel of justification by faith alone answers these three human failures: the hopelessness of unbelievers, the feeling of futility from falling down, and the fear of making global claims for Christ.

To the numb and listless sinner, feeling beyond all hope of godliness, the Bible says, "To the one who does not work but trusts him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness" (Romans 4:5). God justifies the "ungodly." This truth is meant to break the back of hopelessness.

The connection between the sinner and the Savior is trust, not improvement of behavior. That comes later. It's this order that gives hope. "For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law" (Romans 3:28). The basis of this wild and wonderful hope (the ungodly justified) is "Christ for righteousness to everyone who believes" (Romans 10:4, literal translation). Through faith alone God counts the ungodly as righteous because of Christ. "For our sake [God] made [Christ] to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). Let all who are paralyzed by the weight of sin and the powerlessness to change turn in here.

To the fallen saint, who knows the darkness is self-inflicted and feels the futility of looking for hope from a frowning Judge, the Bible gives a shocking example of gutsy guilt. It pictures God's failed prophet beneath a righteous frown, bearing his chastisement with broken-hearted boldness. "Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me. He will bring me out to the light" (Micah 7:8-9). This is courageous contrition. Gutsy guilt. The saint has fallen. The darkness of God's indignation is on him. He does not blow it off, but waits. And he throws in the face of his accuser the confidence that his indignant Judge will plead his cause and execute justice for (not against) him. This is the application of justification to the fallen saint. Broken-hearted, gutsy guilt.

For the squeamish fellow afraid of making global claims for Christ, the biblical teaching on justification explodes his little world. It says: the deepest problem to be solved is the same for every human being, because every human is a descendant of Adam. And the problem to be solved is that "by one man's disobedience many were made sinners." "One trespass led to condemnation for all men." The only solution to this universal condemnation is a "second Adam" who provides "the free gift of righteousness" to all who hear the gospel and believe (Romans 5:17-19). Therefore Christ, the second Adam, the giver of righteousness, is the only global Savior.

Embrace as your treasure the gift of justification. There is no part of your life where it is not immeasurably precious.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: www.desiringGod.org