Surprised by the gospel

It is a cry of derision to find in my soul impure motives in good deeds that are not to the glory of God. It is a worser cry of abominable filth when my actions are contrary to that of the nature of the divine. It is a shameful truth that I a wretched soul made to live on this earth to the glory of God have failed so miserably. I have in me uncountable idols, uncontrolled passions and earthly lust of which degrades the attributes of my Holy maker. I have indeed become a marred clay, a broken vessel, an unworthy creature unfitting for blessing of the sun and the satisfaction of the earth’s produce. If this be as I am before my eyes, how much more a pity and worm would my maker make of me? How much more a son of perdition, a being fitting for the eternal habitation of hell! It is not secret knowledge that God should hate me, have I not done all that his contrary to his will and does not justice fall blindly on evil doers? Yea, His sword falls sweetly on the wicked although he does not delight in their death yet it pleases him to vindicate His justice and to rid the earth of such vile creatures. For such a creature I was and such a view of God I knew until one with beautiful feet came with news; a most exciting news that God loves me in my miserable condition, he loves me and had send his Holy One to die for me and take my place. The news unfolded like pleasantries to my ears and in all of my imagination I could never have conceived  that my Maker himself would die for me. This only shows the mountain of how hideous my sin is but displays the magnitude of His love towards me. I am surprised by this news, by this gospel, that my God, my Holy maker should call for my reconciliation and fathom the happiness of his grace for me. Today I have become a man freed from eternal guilt and for the first time I love my God for He has first loved me.

K.Oni