Oh My dear delightful Sunny,
Read below about the pain I felt last week.
I was in much pain that I felt the sentences of death upon me. My back aches and I could not sleep. I struggled to breathe and would often say my last prayers that if I should not wake then, please Lord receive my sinful spirit. Such was my state that I despised of living itself, yet I wanted to live and live a life more committed to God.
The pain was excruciating and I thought that I had all kinds of illnesses. I remembered Paul who prayed ardently for his thorn to be removed and I prayed likewise - I began to think that this ache would be my lifelong thorn. I also thought about others who were in chronic pain whose pain was infinitely worse than mine and bore their pain with a daily smile. Those are the saints who color this world of pain. Mine was but a few days and I groaned but never cursed God like Job’s wife would have advised.
Perhaps, I exaggerate my pain to such a degree that it is not as burning as the sun but yet it was as the oven where inedible cake is baked so that it could be consumed. This pain came upon me as a rod to strike me awake from my lukewarmness to my sweet savior and indulging in the ways of the world that brings death. He struck me awake with such a heavy blow that it was the blow of love. O I thought He had forgotten me in the night and despised me in the day. But Christ eyes and mind are always about his saints and how he pleads for us every day.
I have been a wild rebel and in my rebellion, he loved me and forgave me. I will do likewise for I will not hold a grudge against those who do me ill for I have done many a wicked thing to others and worst of all to my God who forgives me of all of my unrighteousness. I will do likewise and always hold a cup of fellowship to as many enemies or friends are as willing to embrace me.
Yours forever,
Silvestre
K.Oni
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