Wept like Peter

 I thought I would grow holier as I live out my life but I have regressed and walked away from the narrow path. I have ceased praying, and walking aright all because I drifted and did not put on my armour for the fight. 

I went to war naked and cold and the enemy covered me in his false light. I felt the warmth and remembered the old days, when I knew no conviction and devotedly served the prince of this world. My lust were not sinful in my mind, and I caressed greed as to me it was a good goal for life. O, I was blind but in my blindness I was walking in the light. Money was sight and to have power was right.

All this, when heavenly light struck me down, and grace awoke me from my sleep of death, I saw the murk and the gloom I was in, and saw all of my sins and knew the night of my hideous sins. Grace kissed me, and love brought the sun, the warmth and heat that smooched my heart to breathe its first breath of righteousness. Joy followed and bequeathed a sight of the Heavenly Son, hope carried me to the place where saints pray, and I walked the day feeling like all is new to me. 

The narrow path so sweet to me and ahead I saw the Christ with his cross ahead of me. Him I followed singing my richest gain I count but loss and pour contempt on all my pride. 

In public I preached to friends and foe, defended the Lord on all fronts and would have died on the gospel hill. 

O, how far I have fallen, like him who fell like lightning from heaven. 

O to rise again from the ashes, to stand tall on repentance hill, blessed is the Lord that uplifted me and uplifted me from the mire. O, saints, do not walk as I have walked, but stay on the path of holiness. The Lord's rod is sweet and how he laid it heavily on my back. I had ignored his whispers and discarded his talk but when he shouted in love, I froze and fall to my feet and wept like Peter. 

K.Oni