O, the loneliness of the wandering sheep who has
left the safety of the ninety-nine; or the unquenchable fire of restlessness of
that Christian who has grieved the Holy Spirit.
Such is the power of the flesh
that one must not leave it to rule one’s heart, for it only breeds contempt for
the things of God.
There are strongholds in me which I have not fought with the
blood of the lamb. I have forgotten that the battle for righteousness is daily,
nay, every hour. Every thought must be held captive, every vision must be
salted with holiness and every speech seasoned with the sweet spices of grace.
I have so fallen, yea so wretched that I cannot dare look into my Lord's pure holy eyes,
for I shall be worse than Isaiah in His exclamation; ‘Woe is me for I have
sinned!’ I would say, woe is me for I have doubly sinned under a greater light
and dispensation.
But this, my poor miserable soul also knows, namely, that
God’s mercy under Christ is limitless and able to conquer and overcome my
wretched heart.
It is true that my sins were written down only to be forgotten,
only to be screwed up and burned in the fire of forgiveness, and to be drowned in
the sea of mercy and grace. Love has chased away the hammers of justice,
satisfying her needs on the cross of glory.
K.Oni
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