Miscellanies 122:I hate sinning against other people

 I hate sinning against other people, but I do. One of the reasons why I hate this is because I don’t want to hurt anyone and perhaps deeper than this is that inside I think I am better than I am. I feel that I am so good that I shouldn’t be able to hurt anyone. But this is not true, because I too am a sinner and one of the consequences of being a sinner is that we sin even though we have the new nature as Christians. As John rightly says, that if we say that we have no sin then we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

I find it easier to forgive others than to forgive myself. I am always thinking that God has forgiven the inexcusable in me, so what others do to me I can easily forgive. But when I sin against others, I am mortified and find it hard to cope that I have done such an awful thing. My heart becomes sad and rather than just going to the person immediately, I weep internally for days. But I must forgive myself because God has forgiven me, and I must seek forgiveness from the ones I have sinned against. One of the consequences of not forgiven yourself is that it will damage your relationship with God in a practical way. Prayer becomes harder, loving others becomes harder, going to church and praising becomes harder. I must always sit under the shade of humility.  

K.Oni