Where is love in my heart now

Where is love in my heart now? Where does it reside? I searched but could not find it - I have no taste so desiring for a woman's love. But there is lust - not the kind that cares. But there is war - not the kind to feed the lost. 

Where is my love - the kingdom love that lays its life? Where are you? Why can I not grasp you? 

Holy Spirit forgive me - Let me be a sweet aroma. I want to be kind, but greed brings envy out of me. I think I'm too proud - When was the last time I confessed my wrong? I wished I cared more - then perhaps my presence would more abound. 

K.Oni