Miscellanies 85: A righteousness not my own
I have never ever claimed to have a righteousness of my own, nor to possess any goodness to commend myself to men let alone to God. I understand more than anybody else the pitifulness of my heart and the misery of my condition. If anybody think that I am at all good, I concede that it is all in their imaginations, and they think of me as they ought not to. I still have with me those sins from my youth which I have yet to loose from my heart. I must confess that I have not dealt violently with them as I ought, for if I had, then some of those vile things would not be found in me now. But they are, and how I lament my own powerlessness. I can say that all of those deadly sins are in me, and I wish that they were not but they are. And here is where the devil sees it a delighting thing to torment me with my horrible past and depraved present. But in all of his accusations, I do say unto him that I do indeed have no righteousness of my own. Nay, I have not. And I am deeply sorry for bringing shame to the name of Christ but this I know, namely that I do possess a righteousness that is entirely not my own. This righteousness makes me worthy before God and fits me for worship regardless of my condition. You may accuse all you want Satan, but I am still very much the child of God in so much that I have been justified. Indeed God counts me righteous and it is in this goodness and kindness and identity which I live, that prevents me from going into utter despair due to my own lingering sins. Indeed, my heart is free from its fetters of guilt because of the cross of Christ. It is there that I try to daily come in order to be soaked in the blood of Christ and to feel the weight of the death he died for me. And then I do go by the empty tomb and assure my soul that I am indeed accepted and counted righteous. Yea, counted eternally righteous.