Miscellanies 113

O may I not leave off prayer, O to my shame how I have left off prayer. O to pray, to pray, to pray. O how I was long in this sweet delight wherein the sweetness or the misery of my spirit, I would seek him out, delighting in His word. But the more holy my heart was, the more holy my duties were, I became a man of sorrows. My heart was filled with misery for the lost, and there was anguish in my heart that the sweet all-powerful and beautiful God, was not worshipped. To forsake this forlorn heaviness, I would leave off my holy duties, which includes bringing Christ in every sphere of my life, that I would then drink in the pool of the world, that is to starve my soul from the word and prayer, which then made me forget the lostness of the world but also made me miserable, because my heart thirsted for the sweet love of my life who is Christ Jesus, the king of glory. Oh, this pleasing pain to always seek his kingdom and righteousness.

K.Oni

Miscellanies 112

I must now indeed set to mortify my sins with all great seriousness and diligence. For as I look over the last ten years or so, I have in certain seasons mortified those sins which easily entangles me - but not with so much a great consistency. It is no good if the fire is put out in the forest but the spark remains. Because the spark is neglected, it will soon rise again and burn. So it is with me if I do not entirely kill my sin. Oh, I have been careless with my heart and also neglected the pursuit of my Joy in Christ, for it is in this, yea in seeking first his kingdom and righteousness that I savor him and in obedience bring him glory. This also brings me to reflect on my lack of obedience in many things. I should have been smarter than I am now and more advanced perhaps if I was more careful with what I was given. But disgracefully I squandered it just as with many a thing and at present feeling like the foolish servant who buried his only talent rather than investing it. But today, yes as it is today, I am to repent of all my evil deeds and fling myself on the mercies of God, for his love towards me never fails.

K.Oni

I am not to lie to you

I am not to lie to you, I am not to lie. In all things, I must speak the truth and that includes when I talk about my feelings. Of course, I must be wise about these things but in being wise, I must not lie.

Paul writes in Colossians 3:9 'Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.'

Indeed I must not lie to my fellow Christians which also implies I must not lie to anyone at all. O how I have fallen short, how I have miserably fallen short!

But I do not despair because my disposition is one of repentance and a willingness to put off my old self and to live in accordance with my new nature. Indeed God's mercies are renewed every day and they are sweetly and kindly renewed towards me.

If it is indeed how I feel, I must say it. If I have great difficulty in believing any of God's promises, I must not lie about it but express the truth of my feelings about it. I must not indeed be a hypocrite about these things. I must not say to others that I am praying when indeed I am not.

I am not to lie about God's revealed truth but I must be sensitive about it. If I see a brother or sister in error concerning a doctrine, I must not shy away in correcting them in the spirit of love and gentleness in as much as it is my place to do so. I must not soften God's difficult truths for the sake of feelings but I must be wise. If it is an outsider, I must pick my fights. It is worthless to throw pearls to swine. And by swine is meant someone who does not have an open heart and is very obstinate. I may as well keep my mouth shut than to be abused!

I must definitely not lie to God. O what a foolish thing! He sees and hears all and He knows the thoughts of my heart. So I may as well be before him as an open book and read accordingly as it is revealed. Help me Lord, Help me always be truthful!

K.Oni

I must put these all away

Have I any anger in my heart that is not righteous anger? I must put it all away.

Have I any wrath in my heart that is not righteous in any way? I must put it all away.

Have I any malice in my heart? Oh, I hope I do not. But if I do I must put it all away!

Have I caused any slander towards any in humanity? Or am I thinking of slandering somebody? I must put it all away.

Has there been any obscene talk coming out from my mouth? I must cease immediately and if it is stored in my heart for out of the abundance of the heart, one does speak then I must put all obscenity far away from me.

All these evil things that are from the flesh, I must violently kill them and put them all away. I ought to bury them and bid them an eternal adieu!

K.Oni

God will be my Judge

Her beauty is the end of my dreams
The shore on which my journeys end.
To think that this filial faith
Would deliver a golden gleam,
God will be my Judge
If for her was only a fickle fancy.
But ghastly in this gladsome glow
I look on as in a dream
For, in reality, she loves someone else;
But single yet, too well I know
She adores another,
And with giddiness, she will pass me by.
Long I thought, I have naught to loose
The only question is,
Begin my mourning now or then!
Or take out my heart and give it to her
To do with it whatever she please.

K.Oni

18 Characteristics of Humble Souls

BY THOMAS BROOKS

[1.] Now the first property that I shall lay down of a humble soul is this: A humble soul under the highest spiritual discoveries, and under the greatest outward mercies, forgets not his former sinfulness and his former outward baseness.

PAUL had been taken up into the third heavens, and had glorious revelations and manifestations of God, 2 Cor. 12:1-4; he cries out, "I was a blasphemer, a persecutor, and injurious," 1 Tim. 1:13. Under the choicest discoveries, he remembers his former blasphemies. So Romans 7:23, "I see a law in my members warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin, which is in my members." 

Continue to read:https://www.monergism.com/18-characteristics-humble-souls?fbclid=IwAR0tOrx_fX1udg7rMjr1Mf8V6JZObzy4_43bx4k9UU10yOhtCxepNC9NCuA

Like green and yellow

She likes me, but I like her.
She sits by me whilst I'm thinking of her.
They are friends
like green and yellow when they appear in the sky
but what matters is the love
that endures in our hearts.

K.Oni

I've got a lot of faults

I've got a lot of faults I thought I should let you know

Before we go further, I'm not immune to thinking about the grave

Late nights sometimes, I scream in the depths of my mind

Memories of the past when I bled over things that I wish I did,

Will my life be a thesis of resits?

K.Oni