Monday, 18 April 2011

An unspoken struggle - Christian Women addicted to Pornography

Jesus says in Mathew 5:28, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you loose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell”. 

Rob Weiss, the founder of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles, says that porn addiction is becoming an epidemic and Oprah also states that “it has been reported that 1 in 3 consumers of online porn in America are now woman”. The Guardian reports that for more and more women, “the PC becomes an erogenous zone”.  Theresa Flynt, vice president for a pornographic video chain, comments that women account for over half of the business at their stores and according to the national campaign survey, over 1 in 5 teenage girls (age 13-19) have participated in sexting (the act of sending nude or partially nude media electronically, usually via mobile phones). This epidemic which has been mainly ascribed to being a male disease is now capturing and enslaving the lives of many women. As well as often affirmed that Christian men struggle with pornography, it is now becoming increasingly true of Christian women. According to a 2003 poll by Today’s Christian Woman, of their female readers, 34% admitted to intentionally accessing internet porn.  The same may be true in your church and Christian union, that perhaps 34% of the women are addicted and struggling with pornography. 

Pornography is an issue that is not often lingered upon as it breeds an air of discomfort, and even when touched upon its general focus is on men although women are alluded to as well. While many in the church may expect guys to struggle with this addiction, yet it is altogether strange and shameful when a woman is found with this infatuation.  Jessica Harris in her struggle with pornography tells of how people may view her addiction: “Our church was just beginning to mention men struggling with pornography as a side note from the pulpit. I could imagine my youth pastor and the rest of the church staff having a collective heart attack if I, a woman, came forward and said, "I need help. I am struggling with pornography….
I was called into the Dean's office and there it was suggested that someone might have somehow had access to my account. The female dean followed that suggestion by saying, "We just don't have this problem with women."

This problem may be an issue for any woman in your church and Christian union, even among those who appear to be the most godly may be secret watchers of pornography. No one is exempt and no one is beyond redemption. The grace of Jesus is enough to cover all of your sins and shame. Women who are addicted to pornography may feel themselves to be the only strugglers with porn and thus feel overwhelmed with shame and guilt especially in “the Christian Culture where women are supposed to be the nonsexual ones”. Perhaps in reading this you find yourself to be addicted to pornography or you know of someone who is addicted to pornography. I am not a counselor but I will suggest ways in which you can curb your addiction and free yourself from a life of guilt and shame. Also I will suggest useful websites that I found which are offering support for women addicted to pornography.

If you are a Christian woman and struggling with pornography, Satan will use this sin to kill your faith and joy in Christ. He will do all that he can to make you feel worthless and that God completely hates you and dislike you. Do not heed to his words but rather remind yourself of the gospel of grace and the Love of God. Jesus died specifically for sinners and are you a sinner (yes). Then Jesus died for you and has he atoned for all of your sins (yes), and are you justified by your works or by the works of Jesus? (by the works of Jesus). Does God love you any less when you watch pornography (no, although he wants you run from it), He loves you the same, yesterday, today and forever because He loves you not because of your works, for if that were the case he could never love you. But he loves you unconditionally. So fight the devil with the gospel of Christ. And if you find yourself not to be a Christian, you are not exempt from God’s grace. Jesus died for your sins even your porn addiction and he has the power to set you free only if you would come to him. God loves sinners and that’s why he send his only Son to die, Jesus died specifically for sinners to reconcile you back to God.

Another advice will be to tell somebody. Do not remain silent with your issue, but tell someone that you trust. Confess your addiction and seek help. Also pornography is a heart issue, it is seeking gratification and pleasure; and as you have probably noticed, it never satisfies. But God does satisfy, Jesus Christ is the beauty of creation and the source of infinite Joy. At God’s right hand is pleasures for ever more, so turn your affection upon Christ, fix your eyes upon Him and the lure of pornography will begin to fade - fight the good fight and walk in your calling. Fix all of your strength upon Jesus and be addicted to him, turn away from pornography by turning to something more delightful and sweet which is Jesus. Jesus said that He has come to give us life to the full; do you believe that? If you do, I beseech you to receive from him and let him fill your life with the radiance of his divine beauty. Fight this sin for it is better that you loose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Jesus has overcome so you can too.


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