O may I not leave off prayer, O to my shame how I have left off prayer. O to pray, to pray, to pray. O how I was long in this sweet delight wherein the sweetness or the misery of my spirit, I would seek him out, delighting in His word. But the more holy my heart was, the more holy my duties were, I became a man of sorrows. My heart was filled with misery for the lost, and there was anguish in my heart that the sweet all-powerful and beautiful God, was not worshipped. To forsake this forlorn heaviness, I would leave off my holy duties, which includes bringing Christ in every sphere of my life, that I would then drink in the pool of the world, that is to starve my soul from the word and prayer, which then made me forget the lostness of the world but also made me miserable, because my heart thirsted for the sweet love of my life who is Christ Jesus, the king of glory. Oh, this pleasing pain to always seek his kingdom and righteousness.