Let me feel your existence

I want to know God. To feel his goodness and warmth over me.
I want to know the surety of his existence. For him to grant me a faith that stands in the storm.
I want to know God. But it is hard to know him if I cling on to my sins.
Both things are diametrically opposed.
Therefore I am tormented in my soul.
The world seems so pleasing and heaven is where I want to lay my head.
Both cannot be my portion.
Oh God, let me feel your existence as to banish all doubts within me.

K.Oni