Below is the feeling of a person who feels his own misery after drinking deep at the sinful things of this world.
'Where do I begin my Lord? It feels as if our relationship is severed. I've never felt like this, I have failed. That peace with God I cannot find. Is it forever lost? have I blown it? as my lamp-stand been removed? I don't know where to turn but to the things of this world to ease the pain within, the pain of loosing the sweet peace with my precious saviour. I feel no joy when I turn to the bible, that feeling of wantonness of great delight in the things of God have diminished and so much have I grieved the Holy Spirit that He shrieks within me and must not want anything to do with me and with my stupid ways. Were not salvation by the pure grace of God I should think that long ago the Holy Spirit would have packed his bags and left me just after a minute of entering my heart. Oh how wretched I am, How wretched'.
Indeed if salvation were by works, who can be saved? but if by grace then even the worst sinners can be saved and happily enter heavens shores unblemished and spotless due to the righteousness of Christ that is imputed unto him. So in your despair take courage and trust in Him who sanctifies.