It seems to me that I am ever so far away from the shore of righteousness. That land which I know contains all goodness and loveliness seems altogether to be out of my reach. Although I know that it is ever near, yet it appears that I can never reach it. I see it with the eyes of my mind, but I can never swim far enough to walk on its green pastures. I always sink. O such is the misery of the worldy man, that he can see the clouds but never touch it. He may jump as high as he can but will never reach it. But look how easily planes fly through the clouds! And whilst I have a heart for righteousness and a body for sin, I can never be happy. It is altogether now impossible to indulge in the world with any happiness, because my heart for righteousness will be very much dejected, which is really the centre of me. But if I follow the course of righteousness, I will be very much happy. But my body will be weary and I should be tired phyiscally, for my flesh would seek to torture me. O, this body of death! Who will deliver me?
Thanks be to Christ who delivers us from this bondage, eventually. And he can do it now. Such is the victory of the cross that Christ can subdue entirely the passions of our flesh, but he does it not at once, and we must struggle, and fight, and prove our worth. We must choose and we have the Spirit for help. O to submit my mind to all that is noble and pure, to meditate on all that is good and to keep away from all things impure. O that is my desire.
How happy I will be on that day when this body is swallowed up by the eternal. Sin shall cease from me forever and I will not miss her.