What am I doing?

 I want to tell her that I like her 
But it is no use.
There is a bottle in the cider
Or is it the wine I will abuse?
The melancholy drifts in
I smile in the blue.
The rain is in the clouds
Like there is love in my hue.
I had a dream of freedom
But I am chained to her lips,
The feeling feels like I am sinking
But the titanic is not in view.
I am but a shadow
The light is hid in a distant mood
I understand her feelings
There were many that I censored with my gesture, I never meant to be rude.
O, why this feeling that makes me turn to sin?
Its haunting, I pray for forgetting 
But I tempt myself by glancing at her likeness.
I am not a slave 
I chain myself to her inflexibility.
What am I doing?
When there are souls to win for eternity!

K.Oni