Monday 24 October 2011

Cleaning up the polluted air

I needed a way to discourage her from loving me. The cold smiles and hard shoulders had no effect nor the neglect of my cares. I knew if I played the fool and helped her in this fancy it will in the end be too much of an heartbreak for her soul and mine to endure. I did not love her nor did I want to see her hurt. It became practical to forsake her company and to delight in nothing concerning her. Friends I could not play but an enemy. In all of this her love increased, it stemmed higher and higher till at last, on a cold cloudless evening I arranged for her and I to go out for a meal. We sat in a rather obscure restaurant, with no class at all and offered her no drinks at all. She in her love and care bought me a drink even after my adamant refusal and with bold radiating smile stared passionately into my eyes which made me uncomfortable and sad for I could not return such vivacity. In my heart I thought her a fool, a loving fool who deserves a better man than me. In this process of thought, I asked her why she liked such a guy like me? I have been horrible and played a wicked friend by neglecting you much. Why still chase after my steps or still possess any hope that I will love you?

She stared at her drink taking her eyes away from mine; for a moment she said nothing and I perceived she was thinking of what to say. She lifted her passionate lively eyes and began to declare her reasons why it was almost impossible for her to desert her love for me. She said ‘you were the first guy who ever looked upon me with tender eyes of mercy and love. You looked at me and never looked away. You wanted nothing from me but what I am. You spoke to me as a friend, you invited me into your house and played games with me. With you I found a friend, a spiritual friend who brought much colour into my dull life. At first when these heavenly feelings began to arise in me I fought it but to no avail. I prayed that they should flee but it remained. Then at last I could but make peace with it and I began to notice that you knew. Then your character began to change because I knew that you wanted to discourage me from loving you. I tried to fulfil your desires but to no avail. I am forever lost to these passions lest it leaves as it arrived. I did not desire it but it came, one morning I woke up with it and I pray one evening I will sleep with it and it will not return. But until then my heart is given to you, it longs for you'.

This declaration of hers made me want to repent and plead exceedingly that I was very sorry for treating her in such a bad manner. Forgetting my pride I did open my mouth and asked her to forgive me and without reflecting upon my apology she said she had already forgiving me. She also continued and began to say ‘I know that you do not have my eyes nor my love, therefore you need not worry about the dynamics between us. As much as I would like us to be and to one day enter into that happy union which our blessed God did give to our first parents, is almost an impossibility, yet, I will not crouch upon you nor stalk you. I will still enjoy your presence as before and only wish and ask of you that you treat me as your friend. It will be unbearable for my soul if you should treat me as your enemy for I will not be able to forgive myself. So please treat me your friend and enjoy your company as you used to’.

I admired her spirit to bear with this unrequited love and in my heart I made a solid resolution to treat her as my friend. I did begin to smile once again and glad we did meet up to clear up the air. Perhaps this is a lesson some could take, that instead of walking in a polluted environment, one can in one evening take up their cleaning materials and clean up the polluted air.

K.Oni

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