Monday, 27 February 2012

Book Review: What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him

book title frontThis book challenges Fathers to be fathers to their sons by calling men to love Jesus which will make them real men. Byron Forrest Yawn presses various issues about manhood and masculinity through the filter of the gospel, being shocked in his survey on biblical manhood at the lack of the mentioning of Jesus Christ. Yawn radically affirms that Masculinity cannot make sense without the cross and that what the church needs are warriors of the gospel of Christ not boys trapped in men’s bodies. Manhood is the most complete in that image of Jesus, the maker of heaven and earth, on his knees like a commonplace servant washing the disciples feet. Pastors are to install this view of Manhood into the young men in the churches and Fathers should not neglect their responsibilities in being spiritual leaders in the home.

Byron Forrest Yawn talks about men in marriages and raising a family. He writes of men thinking about their own leadership at home that the question isn’t. ‘I’m I a leader?’ but do I take pleasure in sacrificing my own needs to meet those of my wife?’ How one answers this question may reveal the selfishness or one’s lack of grasping what the gospel is. Also Yawn says of chastity, the question is not ‘are you chaste’.  Impurity is a matter of the heart. The real question is ‘why are you chaste’. Because of moral pleasure? Because the opportunity to be impure has not presented itself. Because your parents and peers keep a close eye on you. Or because you believe what God has said about sex? This type of questions enables one to search the motivation within ones heart whether it is Christ driven or self pursuing.

Fathers are to teach their kids and take time to explore life with their sons and find out what their dreams are together not to neglect their sons to find it out for themselves. Sons are to be taught about sex and are to know that fulfilling sex  - as God intended it  -results from a consistently sacrificial relationship built on the principle of unconditional love.

Writing about friendships Yawn writes that there could be other reasons men don’t invest in friendships. Maybe they have something to hide. Namely, themselves. Some men may be to embarrassed to expose the realities lurking in their personal and spiritual life. The shallowness of their soul. The ineptitude with the basic of the Christian life. They don’t know how to lead their wives. Their finances are a mess. They are a failure in business and etc. Uncovering their struggles to another person seems the most frightening prospect they can imagine. Squaring with reality would be the hardest thing they’ve ever done. The risk is too great.

This book I highly recommend for all men to read whether a Father or not for it prepares you to abstain from grave mistakes that some Fathers make in raising their sons and if a Father this book helps you uncover the responsibility of your role in raising your sons and preparing them for life and biblical manhood. Yawn writes ‘The majority of men start discovering at forty what someone should have told them at eight. By the time we realize these hidden wrinkles, the’ve already done their damage. And they’re hard to untangle.

“Above all else, sons need to know their fathers love them. Every son needs to hear his dad say ‘I love you’. Its not really optional. This is especially true when it’s hardest to say - when their sons fail or disappoint” p56.

What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him can be purchased at:


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