Ah Sunny, see my words below. I hunger to be a better man and a better lover. I will see you soon my one true friend but read over my words and confession to a lady:
I said words that I didn't mean; like I could never be neutral towards you as your blueish eyes looked upon me in pity. I lied as I struggled to find words to convince you to love me and those words pushed you further away.
You inquired why I desired you and my lies reached new heights. In truth, I desired you and despaired many nights over you but not to the depths I had you imagined. O I am a wicked man and you did well in disobeying my call. Many women have been ruined by my sweet words and although I lack charm, even more, my intimacy is insufficient.
I am a man whose head is always in another place. My lips may be with your lips but my brain is elsewhere. Many have said my kisses and caresses are sweet, but it is the sweetness of a bad thing. Loving me would have been your greatest sin.
There is not a relationship that I have enjoyed so much as to not dance with another. My feet are always moving from the beach to the secretness of a dark room where you are not present. And although I will always look upon you with great affection, and will always desire your company, you did well to completely remove me from your friendship.
Many women have been ruined by keeping me around and I must say that I am a better man than I was. I was always wooing some lady whom I desire no love from, but it made me glad to see her affections for me in her eyes. This reduced my loneliness because My dear Sunny is never around. He is the only one who erases all of my deep sadness.
Forgive me fair lady and all of the ladies before - My confession springs for my newfound joy in something deep that is immaterial. They tell me that you are now thrilled with love. You have reached the love of your life and he has accepted you forever. For this, I raise my glass and toast to your eternal happiness. It is strange for me to write this for no one demanded it. Perhaps this is my therapy as your ears have no more time for my speech.
I remember the long nights of gazing at your feelings. You searching my mind to see the deep agonies that I refused to disclose. You marveled at my knowledge and I was awed by your unbounded ways. As much as I was intimidated by you, I felt safe but not so safe as to tell you that another beauty much like you, perhaps even better also had my heart.
Whatever our friendship was, it was to me a sweet passage of time. I don't know if I ever loved you for what love is, I do not know if I am capable of such a thing as to love a woman entirely in a way that I will always be present, only time will tell.
Time will tell me if I will overcome my aches and time will tell me if I will finally surrender myself into the hands of a woman.
Those were my words, Sweet Sunny. I will visit soon and let us go by the river to enjoy the quiet waters of where much of our childhood was spent. O, those ravishing days my Sunny. You taught me to love but I moved away too soon for your teaching to reach its maturity in my heart. You are my sun and my sky - yours is a friendship I will gladly die for.
Forever yours -
David
K.Oni
No comments:
Post a Comment