Grieving the Holy Spirit
As well as often been moved by the sweetness of the Holy Spirit, I have often felt the extreme bitterness of the opposite. I have in many occasions grieved the holy spirit to such extremities that I felt the sentence of death in myself. If I had not known the scriptures so well, I would have soon lost all hope in repenting of sins for I would have surely believed that God could not so forgive them and that that eternal curse is upon me. Such is my condition in grieving the holy spirit that I become like a zombie an apathetic individual in whose revival laid in the returning joy of the holy spirit. And while His joy is absent so is mine. My countenance is sad and grievous, injurious to the soul and laden with all manner of self pity, I desire no company nor bread, but to be left to the wallowing of my own misery. It is a most frightful taste to swallow but I must eat of it if I am to have any hope of repenting and forsaking my ungodly ways. For this my friend is one of God’s discipline upon his child, a solemn warning not to play, dance or touch the fire but to flee from it. Darkness has no company with the light not does the light desire to play with the darkness but to kill it and entirely remove her from his presence. So must the saints of God deal with sin, they must entirely kill it if they are to enjoy the bliss of heaven here on earth. For in paradise there will be no sin, she would have been cast into the lake of fire and have no more part to play in the saint’s sorrow and anguish. Eternal happiness remains and sin is forever lost, she will be cast among those who entirely desired her here on earth and therein their marriage in hell will be eternal but the misery which the saints here on earth knew due to sin will be magnified a million fold there in hell. Those who have been entirely taken in by her whose sins have not been forgiven will surround her and choke her for the deceitfulness of her lust and trample her underfoot for the wickedness of her deception. While here, she is their friend, but there she shall be their enemy; but repentance doors will be eternally locked that no sons of Adam who perhaps seek to turn will have no means to unlock repentance doors. Some will seek to climb out but they will climb eternally, some will dig and thus dig forever. So while it is still today, harden not your hearts but repent and be forgiven while it is still today. And you saint’s of God, dabble not in sin but flee as far as the east is from the west away from her rest and rest in the delight of righteousness and let your journey be the walk of sanctification.