My Dear Lord
I begin my prayer with a confession-
For the sake of peace for my soul
I must confess my awful sins.
It seems the arrow of sin has killed my love for you -
No more am I awed by your beautiful glance.
I dread your presence and Holiness.
The arrow of sin, when it pierced my heart
Leaked its deadly poison into my soul -
So that sins which before I could resist
Have become to me a thorn, a continual pitfall.
The depth of jealousy which I find in me, I find astonishing.
It is so bitter, so hateful.
It kills my brothers and sisters.
My disposition towards them is filled with hypocrisy.
I am envious, consumed with selfish ambition, driven by pride
And I find that horrible principle of adultery in my heart.
My dear Lord,
My soul fears that I may be a reprobate
At last to be buried under the eternal flames of hell -
That perhaps before I leave this life my faith may depart from me.
That I may sell it for 30 pieces of silver -
That I may trade it for sin or for pleasure.
But I am not completely senseless
I now more than ever cling to your words and promise
‘To him who is able to keep you from falling, and make you stand
Without blemish in the presence of his glory with rejoicing,
To the only God our Saviour, through Jesus Christ our Lord,
Be glory, majesty, power, and authority, before all time
And now and forever. Amen.’
You are able my dear Lord to keep me from falling.