Do you feel your legs to wander? Do you feel your pilgrim feet to wander towards the vanity fair? For in that circus is contained all of your former lust. Your eyes clearly see the old lust of your heart, and the big pride of your mind in full satisfaction of their current condition. They see you too and call out to you.
"O forget that old dusty religion - you love holiness too much and besides it is too hard. You are only causing yourself unwanted sorrow by trying to keep on the narrow road. It is too difficult for the best of men let alone you, who are but mere ordinary. Cast off the heavy chains of righteousness and live as free as you were of old. See us all here, we live and let live. We have no guilt except for the worst of offenders such as murder and rape. Those are the extremes but in everything else there is no law. We can sleep around and gamble to our hearts content. We can lie and cheat and marry our own gender. We can do this because we are free of those old ancient laws. O you were once part of us and can you not see that it is a carnival today. We can dance in a dirty way without the slightest guilt. But you, poor you are still weighed down by the law. O it is you that is in chain and not us. We live our lives to the full. Come and return to your old vomit, pick up your old shovel and dig your grave for after-all there is only a heaven for us all," said his old heart.
O do you feel your legs to give in to those old temptations. Is their call ever drawing you in? O you long for that old sweetness but at the same time you know it is wrong. What a battle that happens in the spirit of a saint. There, is the battle between the Spirit and the flesh. O do you see yourself tempted to go back?
Where is your heart now? In what camp is she devoted? Are you divided in yourself? Do you want the world or the Lord? O I know what you will say. You will tell me that you want the Lord but you find yourself too weak. Your feet keeps wandering away from the narrow road and thus find no happiness nor rain of blessing to fall from heaven. It is hard you say, very hard. And so it is. For unless you are willing to take out one of your eyes to fight away your lust then you have not commenced the battle.
I have only this to say to you in encouragement, namely that no temptation has overtaken you except that which is common to mankind. The only difference is, is that you know the sting of it. You know the hurtfulness of it, yet you are drawn towards it as the thirsty man for the clear springs. O I have this to say to you. Have you forgotten him who points the clouds to their course, whom the winds and seas obey, O do you remember him. For if you do then he shall direct your wandering feet, He will prepare your way. Only trusts in him and give him all of your cares!
O, get on your knees now if truly you have desperation in your heart, if truly you desire for your legs to wander back to the narrow road, if truly you want the heavenly joy, pray now that God, my Father, please, please for all the goodness of your Son, direct my wandering feet back to thee.
K.Oni
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