Miscellanies - To serve God is the best of service

To serve God is the best of service. To live for God is the best of living. There is no higher good than to do all to the glory of God. He is the great King of the universe and we should be ravished by him, that is our souls should be so in love with God that we daily pine for Him. He is to be the longing of our hearts, the greatest desire of our souls.

Bless the Lord O my soul, all that is within me praise his Holy sweet name. For when my soul blesses God and seeks him first, all my hurt and pain goes away. All my crosses, yea the daily burdens I carry to Golgotha seems bearable. I no longer stumble under the oppression of sin, yea my own sins, for I look to Christ who daily comforts me.

To serve God is the best of service. Today I will praise you and give my heart to you. My heart will not be given to a woman or money, but to God for He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will not break my heart.

K.Oni

God continuously loves us

God continuously loves us, otherwise my love for him would not have grown. He daily sustains us, otherwise I would have fainted in my weakness.

He is the crown on my head, the eternal king of glory. He grants me new mercies everyday, Yesterday's sins forgiven and forgotten. What a wonderful love!

God is my father, he loves me everyday especially when I fail, his loving-kindness never ends. Oh I love him now, more than I did yesterday, and although my prayers fail, I know he works all things for my good.

He is full of joy, and when I am in despair he visits me, restoring my soul. Oh how I love him, but I often forget that he is always on my side. He will never leave me, though at times he hides his face.

Some days I ask, 'God where are you?'

In those days I pray, but in the end I always say that God is good, and rest in his providence. O I love my Lord, the king of all the universe. i praise you with my life, please use all of me. And when I die, a glorious day that will be, seeing you face to face, your radiance will fill my hear with endless joy!

K.Oni

I feel the sweetness of God's peace

I feel the sweetness of God's peace - the wonderful calm it does bring to a troubled soul tossed about by life's troubled winds. Now serene by his gentle voice,  whispering peace to my despairing soul!

K.Oni

Weary of my own soul

They say that I am good
Religiously inclined
Only if they knew
The tears that I cried,
My lonely nights and nightmares
Weary of my soul
Can't enjoy company
Being alone is killing me.
The end of me is her
So when she stopped seeing me
My life took a halt
Couldn't pay attention to the present
Without feeling pain.
Regretting my past self
But I think I'm on the mend
Still to her will I bend
My thinking to her beauty tends.
Memories comes like a flood
Of what we use to do,
Here I sit alone
She is happy with another
But I bless them both
Jesus taught me not to curse.
If I kept a drink
I'll be drunk through the day
Sleep my nights away
I was told not to wish my time away.
I let the devil tempt me
I think I've lost my citizenship in heaven.

K.Oni

Miscellanies 99: there is something more bitter than death

There is something more bitter than death: the woman whose heart is a trap to capture men by enslaving them to her love. First she glances at them and calls them by name, knowing full well that they are to be her pray. Then she entices them with kisses from her lips and at last brings them into her chamber of death. She makes them promises until their heart is full with her love, then like Ehud, thrust the dagger into their belly. The righteous man escapes such a snare but the sinner is taken in by her.

K.Oni

I need your friendship

I need your friendship
Though you marry ten thousand men through the ages
All is well as long as I am not forsaken;
And once in a while
Let me hear your voice
That charms my heart in all seasons.
Let me gaze a little on the prettiest face on earth -
Indeed I am besotted, all the world should know
That I am lost in your wonder
In your sweet delight.
My friend, I think no more than that
No reason to beware of a secret passion
Or of private prayers praying for his demise!

K.Oni

I knew a sad boy who was always rejected

I knew a boy who came one night and fell at my feet. He almost cried the night away. I asked him what was wrong and he said:

"Sir, all my life I have been rejected. My parents gave me up for adoption when I was born and none would take me except this lady who lived not too far from here. But as I grew up, I saw that she hated me and soon learned that she took me in because the stat was giving her some money. She never loved me and last night she said to me, that each day she prayed that I perish. O the misery sir but that is not the worst of it. For there is one girl whom I loved with all of my heart because all of my life I have felt alone. But then she came along and for the first time I had a friend who filled the emptiness in my heart. She was angelic, golden and tasteful. I loved her dearly and believed entirely that she cared for me. Alas, she too was using me and never cared for me. Last night she unloaded on me how I was nothing but trash and that she had been using me because she felt lonely and bitter. I was always a dark moon to her. Then she told me that a man has come into her life with great sunshine, a sunshine that I could never have and then spat in my face. Dear Sir I cried and I am crying still! Help me do away with this heaviness that dwells in my belly. I cannot eat nor sleep. I am truly a child of rejection. Even the world rejects me. If this feeling continues I fear dear Sir that I should do away with myself and enter the realm of forgetfulness."

I looked at the boy with pity and told him that although the world rejects you, Christ and I welcome you. I told him to stay with me until his health his good and his heart recovers; but he fell down at my feet and wished that he was already dead on the  account of her.

K.Oni

Miscellanies 98: Say what I mean

I must by all means say what I mean – I must when I am with others declare my intention and live life to the glory of God. I have in the past been too shy with all things. I have so far with nothing lay hold with that burning zeal inside of me that could burn a hole forest to ashes. I have seen it from all eyes and thus many have thought me too laid back with no ambition or eagerness to better myself or change the world. I do! But perhaps the waves of life has washed me to the shore of despondency and misery culminating in my detachment from the world; preferring my own comfort where I have no comfort.

K.Oni

My all

Here I am

Hung on a woman's love!

She heeds me not

Thus sorrowful I be -

Leaning on the edge of despair,

Where I should have long

Dislodged my hope from her bow,

And dearly clung to Christ,

That never forsaking friend!

She laughs and gathers strength

I mourn and fainter grow

Each day as the noon appears and the sun fades.

I beat my chest

And in my darkness rest,

Locking my soul from all souls

That is not her -

Foolishness!

Christ is my alliance

My All in all!

K.Oni

Are you expecting God to follow you

Are you following God or are you expecting God to follow you?

This is a soul searching question. Examine yourself this moment and ask, Am I following Jesus or am I expecting him to follow me?

That is am I bending to his will or do I just want him to bend to my will.

I know that at times in my walk with the Lord, when I pray that I am so moved by something, a good desire that I forget to say, dear sweet loving God of mine, who loves me dearly, let your will be done in this so and so case and rest in that. Yes rest in his sweet love for me that all things that befalls me is for my good and his glory.

But this does not exclude wrestling with God like Jacob who would not let go of God until God blesses him. He fought hard with God and God blessed him. At other times we may wrestle with God and God may not give us the outcome of our desires but say tenderly to us,  'follow me.'

Will you follow in that hour or will you still expect God to follow you?

By not getting what you want will you depart from God or will you in quiet submissiveness say with Jesus, 'not my will, but yours be done.'

Are you expecting God to follow you?

K.Oni

The Joy of confession - My heart aches

There was a boy who came to me late last night with this depressing poem. A feeling I understand too well. I counselled him pointing him to the love of Christ which never fails but it did him no good. His whole disposition was awful, reeking of misery and despair. I prayed for him remembering well the time of my misery and how God had used such a rejection to awaken me from my slumber to seeking first his kingdom. That whole episode resulted in me taking up the cross never to look back towards Egypt.


Suddenly she turned cold
the harshness is killing me
Taken as an enemy
Her feelings stone cold.
I understand the cruelty
To move on she abandons me
I am praying without hope.
Relentless tears, sleepless nights
Daylight aches
My heart breaks.

K.oni

The writings of Sunny Caane: Your weak friend

Dear Sunny

I feel down in myself, feeling like the worst person to have ever lived. My sins are ever before me, my unworthiness constantly present before my eyes. I cannot look at others without feeling disappointed with myself. What a great failure I am. I have failed in life and in love. I am but a wretch, a dung on the surface of this earth.  I am vile and all things mean. It hurts me to think that I have been the cause of pain to others, especially to her of whom my heart aches,

Goodbye Sunny, please write soon! I need a friend.

Your weak friend
Mathias

K.Oni

The writings of Sunny Caane: Sobbing and sorrowing

Dear Sunny,

It is unwell with me my friend. The darkness has finally settled upon me. The news of her engagement has saddened me beyond despair. The light of life blown out of my heart by her rejecting me forever. O I wish that I could move beyond her shores and be happy; but it is to my misery that I am forever stuck in her love. O this detestable pain. It haunts me every waking hour and that is for almost every hour of the day for sleep forsakes my eyes. I cannot sleep. There is always a constant heaviness in my stomach. O the misery; this forlorn darkness that exhibits itself in the isolation of my soul. I am alone in this land and you are so far away dear Sunny that the only thing I can do to escape this awful loneliness is to go into the wild and taunt the bear so that he would brutally attack me. I know all too well what you will say. But I have tried the wine, the drunken nights, the orgies, even so attempted to build genuine love with a virgin of the purest kind. But each time I see her, I see her and all my misery returns drenching my soul in the awfullest of sorrows. O Sunny, woe is me. Time will not heal me only death can subscribe my sure release from this agony. Love has forsaken me and she careth not. she is in her bliss enjoying the light of day and I, sobbing, sorrowing. Before you receive this letter, it may be that I have gone to sleep forever. Do not come for me Sunny. If you are to see me again it is I who will find you or else I'll see you in the life after.

Your childhood friend

David

K.Oni

Miscellanies 97: One day Jesus will say to all of your sorrows, be still

The waves and wind still knows his voice who ruled them while he dwelt below. They still know his name. His name is Jesus. One day Jesus will say to all of your sorrows, despair and misery be still, trouble him no more. All your heartaches will disappear forever never to haunt you again. Until then it is well with your soul. Keep the faith and trust him. If that is a difficult thing for you to do then cry and say, Lord Jesus I believe; help my unbelief.

K.Oni

How Should Christians Handle Besetting Sins?

One of the great Christian classics is a devotional booklet written by Saint Thomas à Kempis called The Imitation of Christ. In that book he talks about the struggle that so many Christians have with habits that are sinful. He says that the struggle for sanctification is often so difficult and the victories that we achieve seem to be so few and far between, that even in the lives of the greatest saints, there were few who were able to overcome habitual patterns. We’re talking about people who overeat and have these kinds of temptations, not those who are enslaved to gross and heinous sin. Now Thomas à Kempis’s words are not sacred Scripture, but he gives us wisdom from the life of a great saint.

The author of Hebrews says that we are called to resist the sin that so easily besets us and that we are admonished and exhorted simply to try harder to overcome these sins. You say, How do we escape these pockets of sin that we have such great struggles with, that we have an honest and heartfelt desire not to commit? If the desire not to do it is really honest and penetrates the heart, we’re 90 percent home. In fact, we shouldn’t be locked into something. The reason we continue with these pockets of repeated sins is because we have a heartfelt desire to continue them, not because we have a heartfelt desire to stop them. I wonder how honest our commitment is to quit. There’s a tendency for us to kid ourselves about this anytime we embrace a pet sin. We need to face the fact that we commit the sin because we want to do that sin more than we want to obey Christ at that moment. That doesn’t mean that we have no desire to escape from it, but the level of our desire vacillates. It’s easy to go on a diet after a banquet; it’s hard to stay on a diet if you haven’t eaten all day. That’s what happens particularly with habitual sins that involve physical or sensual appetites. The ebb and flow of the desire is augmented and diminished. It increases and fades. Our resolve to repent is great when our appetites have been satiated, but when they’re not, we have a growing attraction to practice whatever the particular sins may be.

I think what we have to do is first of all be honest about the fact that we really have a conflict of interest between what we want to do and what God wants us to do. I think we have to feed our souls with the Word of God so that we can get what God wants us to do clear in our mind and then build a strong desire to obey.

FROM R.C. Sproul Jun 03, 2016 Category: Articles  

http://www.ligonier.org/blog/how-should-christians-handle-besetting-sins/

Me Myself And I Missing you

A new song called Me myself and I missing you

listen on soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/kehinde-oni/me-myself-and-i-missing-you

K.Oni

Miscellanies 96: Early morning I rise to pray

Early morning I rise to pray; it is the first duty of my soul. To worship God and seek his face to help me face this present-day. I start with repentance for I know that I am a sinful soul, yet justified made righteous through the life and death of Christ, my King and eternal Lord. Then I thank him for such sweet mercies, and how glad I am that his grace is enough for me each day. Then back to sleep or onto something else but not before I tell him my heart. I am weak and weary, I have many faults; sometimes I wish to go away. I lament and cry to him but rest in his divine sovereignty. He is for me and for my good, this day let me glorify you.

K.Oni

Miscellanies 95 - To watch my heart

For a while I believe that I have not kept a strict and constant watch over my own heart. Hence I believe that I am in this present misery, this darkness for I have fallen into the tempting, charming and dangerous snares of this world. O that now when I lift my voice to pray my sins are before me. Help me dear Lord out of my poor condition. Let me see the beauty of your grace! O to watch my heart and cease from straying. What a Jubilee when I will embrace Christ and rest in him as the end of all my joy and happiness. This I know to be true but may my life reflect it. This narrow path is hard. May I no longer loiter on my heavenly journey – may I forever kiss Egypt goodbye! 

K.Oni

A clinching proof of my despair

I suffer deep in the coldness of my heart
The everlasting misery of my present
A clinching proof of my despair!
Concrete confused glance
The gaze of my near demise
If this stinging darkness does not lift
A clinching proof of my despair!

K.Oni

My nights are lived alone

Now in my misery, forsaken by humanity.
My nights are lived alone
Whilst the stars have too many company.
Is it because I choose to stay inside
When wild nature beckons me?
I am cursed, scarred from past rejections,
Unworthy I, undeserving of kind humanity?
My misery haunts, eats away
Until I think death is all I need.
My nights are lived alone
My hollowed heart beyond repair.
Despairing all alone,
Chained inside the awkwardness of my soul.

K.Oni