Tuesday, 30 October 2012

A short story: Lets be friends



"Why don’t we become friends again?"

"I thought we are friends."

"No we are just acquaintances, you know people who see each other and just say hi and hello. We see each other once or twice a week and then we say goodbye. I would like us to be friends you know, the kind that when I ask you about your day or how’s your heart, you will tell me more than my day is fine or my heart is doing ok. I know there’s history between us and a silent coldness. What I mean by that is that there are feelings that we feel for each other which is not positive and I think we feel like that because we are not friends. Maybe I have done something to upset you in the past and if I have I am sorry. I am willing to be friends again and I think you know why.

I tell you this now because I feel that I have been a coward. You see every time I see you my day brightens up and every time I feel that I am a good person I am always thinking about you and nobody-else. Yes I like you and I like you a lot but you don’t have to feel the same way. That’s ok with me but I would still like us to be friends if you want to be because I really think that me and you being friends will draw out the best in each other or at least you will draw out the best in me."

"I don’t know what to say."

"Why don’t we take a sit and talk a little bit about friendship?"

"But you have many friends and I have many friends. I know what friendship is and I am sorry if you don’t but I don’t feel that we can be friends in the way that you want us to be friends."

"My dear"

"Don’t call me my dear."

"But sometimes when you talk to me you finish the conversation with 'love'. For example you say, see you later love. You know I am an observable person and every-time you speak tenderly to me or use that phrase, I stop to think about it. Don’t look away. Look at me please. I want us to be friends, the kind that can be real together and talk about things that really matter. You know I was writing the other day and this line came to me spontaneously it goes like this ‘I think I should chase her but she seems out of my range’. It was you that I was thinking about and I really do feel that you are outside of my range but moving away from my fantasy land, you are very close in proximity and I felt that a little effort from me we could be friends again."

"What if I don’t want to be friends the way you want us to be friends. What will you do?"

"I’m not sure what I will do but my heart will still be thinking of you. All I have is goodwill towards you and a lot of love which comes from the bottom of my heart. And I just want to bless you. I love your eyes you know and your smile. I don’t think I've ever told you that before but I do love them. And I like the way you roll your eyes, the way you move your legs.  To me your smile is like a gentle sunrise that makes our eyes see the beauty and colour of the world."

"Stop, stop".

"I won’t stop because this is what I am feeling in my heart right now and I just want you to know. You see I have bottled these things up for a time, throwing my letter in a sealed up bottle into the sea hoping that one day it magically drifts to you and you open it to read my heart. But in-order for you to read my heart then I must tell you."

"This is why I cannot be friends with you because you are madly in love with me."

"I’m not going to deny that but more than my mad love for you I would like us to be friends. Friends with good benefit."

"O love"

"You said it again"

"It’s just the way I speak"

"I can understand that but every time you use words of affection towards me my heart always takes it to mean more. So much more but not the kind that is forceful or unrealistic – this is why I want us to be real with each other because I am tired with making assumptions. You see this is why sometimes I have a cold feeling towards you because I worry about upsetting you. So I try to avoid you believing that silence and avoidance is what you want. But I hate it because I just can’t help feeling good and warmth about you whenever you are around. My eyes will always find you. If you made any sudden movement or leave the room my eyes will always notice no matter how busy I may have been. I want us to be friends like we were at first. Sitting and laughing, hugging when we say goodbye and feeling free to touch each other on the shoulders without thinking any more about it."

"But you have just told me that any affections that I show towards you, your heart always takes it to mean more."

"That’s why I want us to be real. You tell me what is really in your heart and I will stop making assumptions. And my offer to be friends you don’t have to take it on pity but if it is really in your heart not to be friends then I will respect your decision; but I can’t promise that I will stop thinking about you for your own good and not merely for my pleasure and happiness or in some cases to my sorrow.

I love your eyes"

"You have already said that."

"I want to say it again. It makes me happy when I say things like this, I hope it is not upsetting you."

"It’s not upsetting me."

"Then why are you holding back?"

"Holding what back?"

"The joy of my compliments. You know complements are more enjoyable when the person being complemented smiles and really show what they feel inside. Sometimes we humans have a way of closing our curtains that the world doesn’t get to see our joy or sadness. We hide away our true selves and then we come out into the sunlight with all of our fake clothes. It’s not how it should be – we should be naked before our friends and families. Living life this way makes the mango sweeter. There we go. That was the smile that won me away when I first saw you, so bright and friendly. I thought that no-one could make an enemy out of you not even the devil."

"Stop it"

"But I like seeing you smile. It makes me happy on the inside. Do you like seeing me smile?"

At my question she paused a while with flickering diamonds streaming from her unavoidable eyes. I could tell that she loved my smile but being ever so hardened, determined to hide her true feelings from me. I also said to her

"I know that your heart is for someone else. That you are now in a relationship. I am happy for you and one day I hope to meet him. I just want to be friends in a good way with you because you draw out the best in me. Can we talk more about this?"

 She rose and said,

"Can we talk more later love."

This wasn't a question but a goodbye. With those words she departed leaving her scent of beauty for me to inhale until I was left the only man in this café wondering when righteousness and peace will finally kiss.



No comments:

Post a Comment

The tears will not rise

The tears will not rise, not tonight. The joy will outlast the thickened dismissal of my confession. The misgiving of ...