Miscellanies 61 - Battle with my soul
I do, do battle with my soul. I fight my heart, doing as much as I can to wean it away from the pleasures of this world. Increasingly I find a terrible root, rooted in my soul, that the motivations of my deeds at times only have Christ as secondary; and for the sake of his glory and my Joy, I will not have it so. Christ must have precedent, He must reign supreme in my heart. He must be the King of my desire and the driver of my will. I will have no other take such a prominent place. I will has he has commanded, hate mothers and sisters, brothers, friends and fancy when my love for Christ is compared. It will be as if I had no true love for them for the Love of Christ will so reign supreme that constantly I will will one thing, namely, His will. But Christ, I am so feeble, my emotions are so fickle, bearing under the weight of passions which I desire to flee from, but Lo, I keep on turning. Help me dear Father, release me from this fetters and let me be as one who desires but one thing.