Saturday, 8 December 2012

The Joy of confession 21

Dear God, again I have wondered into the open, under the pouring rain of temptation. I did not take my umbrella nor did I ran quick to take refuge. I lingered. Like Lot's wife I looked back when I was purposed to stay on the path of holiness. O my sins are many, as numerous as the sands on the seashores, and should you count them and keep a record of them, I could not stand. The weight of your terror petrifies me but not enough, the joy of your holiness delights me, but not enough. O God, visit my soul with a mighty dread that it will for now and forever forsake sin; and please visit my soul with the heights of your goodness so that it will desire no other. I pray my Father that in me will be found no condemnation. That those attributes which belongs to the flesh will be gone from me. That no longer will I carry in me the treasure of wantonness, idolatry, pride, lust, selfishness, and lack of brotherly Love. I long and will and wish to walk tenderly, to walk with love, to move with brotherly kindness, to love my sisters as I ought, to not tarry to display love. Dear Father, at times my heart is as cold and numb as the leper, it is un-wanting of communion, it despises fellowship and lacks conviction. It desires the company of one person whom I cannot have therefore neglects the rest, it scans the earth for pleasure instead of righteousness, it has no love for family, it poisons the environment and sacrileges your sanctuary. Dear Father, my heavenly Love, I thank you that you have not tarried in showing me grace, for even as I write this, I feel the Love in which you purposed towards me in Christ Jesus. I feel your warmth and my heart is at ease with all of my misfortune. O God, I must confess that I have sinned so that grace may abound, although unwillingly yet it was willingly. I knew your mercies will be new the next morning so I indulged my night in Sin. O for mercy for my wayward ways. And I am glad that you have restored me and showed me favour when I deserved death. O what privileges we have in Christ, what Sweet privileges. You have purposed for me that I should receive grace to the praise of your glory and not to be damned to the praise of your glory. O my eternal Love, I do this morning Love you and I pray that your Spirit be not be grieved with me. My Christ, speak to the Spirit on my behalf, allow your intercessions to prevail with Him. O Spirit, come alive once again in me, Speak your words of comfort, ink your word of grace into my heart where you dwell. I love you much and many times I have grieved you. But this I Know, that you are for me and not against me. O this week let me desire the bed of communion. Let me not commune with sin, because to me she is a bitter stranger. But let me commune with my friends and family. For you O God are my friends and Family.


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