As it is!

 As it is 
It is.
The sky falls down
On us all.
I had a dream
Not by Choice
That I would die,
A curse that we must 
All feel.
Jericho, may your walls
Fall again!
My sins, 
Destroys me
Yet, I kiss her
As if all of my joys
Are contained in her.
Christ is my only hope,
By my actions
I decline him,
When will I weep in church!
My friends, I confess
This saintly eyes
Are devilish,
I often wonder how
They could love each other
For ten years and more. 
Forgive me,
In tears I sleep
Deep down
I question, 
Did Jesus really die for me 
On the rugged cross!

K.Oni

I have seen what I have seen!

 I have seen what I have seen
 Like stars falling
Satan descending
And Sin pleasing
I have fallen.
Willingly
I kiss the iniquity that oppresses me.
After seeing the worst of hell
And when almost dead
Heaven recalled me,
I have continued in my rebellious ways.
This shows the vigorousness of evil
And how tainted we are
With this awful demise.
I have no plea
Save the blood of Christ
Save His cross!
Once I was one in the crowd
Chanting crucify the Lord of glory!
I have seen what I have seen,
Regenerated, the day unexpected,
Still, this evil takes a stronghold
Yet not I but the evil flesh that resides in me.
How can I be free?
Submit to the Spirit
I fear I have blasphemed,
And committed the unpardonable sin!
Her eyes, I often recollect
When the sun falls asleep.
In heaven, there is no wife
All friends we must be.
But lust, keeps me chained in greed,
My appetite unquenching
But Christ frees me.
I turn the blind eye
As if I do not see Him 
Asleep in the Storm. 

K.Oni

For we are all brides

 God has given us sweet pleasures
But not to be abused.
Like wine and Music
And Sex and Love.
When God created Man
He created in a pair,
Relationship, so sweet and
God destined for 
Each soul to be in a union,
May I seek the blessedness
Of each to be united with Christ.
For we are all brides and He the bridegroom!

K.Oni

I have lived in sin

 I have lived in sin
And thought I could be happy
Without obedient to my Christ.
I have been asleep
When my salvation is drawing near.
It is time to awake
And to depart from the deeds of the dark.
'Not in orgies and drunkenness, 
Not in sexual immorality and sensuality,
Not in quarreling and jealousy.
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ,
And make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.'

K.Oni

How I wish I was a King

 Suppose I feel this strange excitement
Of seeing you again, whose skin
Emulate the dawn.
I loved you at first 
And wished there and then
That you would be my Rachel.
Brown eyes, and small lips
Novel smile, and an observant eye
You took all of my breath away. 
Bless you, Blessed Queen
How I wish I was a King.

K,Oni

I love you

I love you
And Like Peter, denied you
When the public asked for my truth,
I gave them a lie,
And paraded through the streets
That I could never love a lamb. 

K.Oni

This Cloudy Mist!

 Darcy had his pride
And Elizabeth her prejudice
I have all of my sins
Lust, greed, wrath, sloth, envy, Pride and prejudice.
What to do but give it to Christ
For He died for all of my Sins.
He crucified it, And I will too.
O for strength to last for more than a day,
I will not see the devil gloat 
Or dance and make me hell's price. 
What a saint! Let this be the angel's declare
And when I bid farewell to the dawn
May I be in peace that I have pleased my Lord.
But now forlorn
Because I am not yet free,
Each night I kiss my lust
And each morning I hug my greed.
I wish, but sloth keeps me to my dreams
And wrath, in such speed I detest
And eschew saintly company.
Feed me thy flesh, dear Lord, you died and Bled
And should I who confess
Be the first to be ashamed of my crucified Lord?
Dear God, my Father, my creator,
My Inspiration, Please lift this cloudy mist!

K.Oni

When I rise

 When I rise 
I think of her
Who is almost six feet tall.
Such lovely hills
And blueish Skies
As I work
All my thoughts revert back to her.
What must I do
Who has long forgotten me?
What must I undertake
Perhaps send flowers to the sky,
And perhaps it will reach her way.

K.Oni

Start with myself

I wonder what she thinks
Too nice or a real G?
I'm not rich, But I ain't poor
I have just enough to be what I adore. 
Dear Lord, I love the sky
Cuz the heavens is where you are at,
Even though you are everywhere 
Yet I long to be by your side.
But give me a while.
90 years or 120 or the rapture
If I don't have to taste death,
Or the earth is not in tribulation.
I wish I prayed more
I better start today,
I ought to preach the gospel 
Better start with myself.

K.Oni

I dreamt awake

 Blessed eyes, like the one Adam adored,
I danced in a song, and the flowers twirled along.
The sea and the rose, the Lion and the lamb
Verbalized her beauty all night long.
Then the moon cuddled us in,
Between the open and the closed dusk,
For such eyes, comely than the stars 
I dreamt awake and kissed till daybreak bid us awake. 

K.Oni

I am clay

 Many are the dreams of young girls from the west and eastern sea,
For a man to hold the torch that was ignited by the star,
Called the Sun. 
But buried beneath the grandeur of the green sentience awe
Lay gold and silver, diamond a jewel precious and wildly adored,
But the clay is often ignored!
I am clay, but God made men from the dust
Not from gold, or the light that blazed from the sun.
Ordinary things, is often what makes life drive along
On the road of tribulation, I am yet to see what this clay has not endured.

K.Oni

I will not depart

 What love is 
I knew not till I felt Christ's breath on me.
Dead I was but knew not 
Until I was made alive.
All mankind walks in a grave
Until the Grace of God
Makes them awake,
And see Eden for what it is 
That God is Eden and not the splendour of the scene.
O, I am poor but God loves the poor,
O, to be meek and as such 
Christ will rock me to sleep on a stormy sea.
The devil keeps an alert eye on me
Because I pray and for every inch
I say may God be praised,
And sweet words, but from Christ, I will not depart
For no one has the words of eternal Life!

K.Oni

Let me die a death no one has died!

Here I Stand on-road crossed before,
Look ahead or behind, or side to side?
I see her brazen face
Rejection is a daunting stance.
But still, as I ask heaven for the face
That will grace my years
A lovely bed;
My feelings are not pretense. 
Dear one, who my faults endure
Know this, that I would die
Before I leave you to fence
For my family, I will provide
And If I should fail, 
What no failure has failed,
Let me die a death no one has died!

K.Oni

If my pleading is not a crime,

 I beg if my pleading is not a crime,
And time is not time but a rhyme often spoilt by an inconvenient line,
Of sin, I often found laughter at the end of the east,
Where north and south never meet.

K.Oni

In the misery of plenty

 What does she want I wonder
I squandered all of my morals
In the misery of plenty.
I learned how to write
When I stole from the library,
A coroner's remark
Got me thinking does everyone die in the dark?
Let me learn about the season
I paid reason and asked why there was a fight that led to treason.
Everyone knows, but they all deny
That there is a God, but they put I 
And would rather worship the sneaker in the aisle.
Who prays for forgiveness
Unless the media expose what is unacceptable 
And the commentators turn to preachers. 
I see this in sport
But whee is the morals,
I have never heard of them quoting Christ.
I wish I could rest, but the drink brings the best
And I surrender to the dizziness 
I am in love with a spark,
Little women on the eve of the English dawn.
Forgive me I never learned how to dance, 
I prayed to play, but never to overcome the sin I displayed,
Double vision, the highlight I desired, and nothing more.
But Christ incline, That I prize him above all
And to this, I wish I could bow
And live like St Anthony on the hills.

K.Oni

Only to preach of her peace

 Let me write of never-ending days
The bliss, the scorn
All I was concerned about was if her love would stay.
I walked past the green hills of joy
And asked the clouds that each night watered the morning grass,
If she loved me and she said for me to ask the sun.
Brave I, without shades, looked deep
Almost blinded, I would with no eyes if I could kiss
Her all day long, and in the night spread a feast
Invite all the gods, only to preach of her peace.

K.Oni

I wrote of her long ago

 I wrote of her long ago
Now pregnant and each night 
I pray for safe keep.
Wonder I, if I would have left
Or grew deeper in her British eyes
That never slept.
God remains the only being that I adore
I have lost friends and family to my loss.
But she is well, I am glad and pray
That the good Almighty will keep her unhurt.

K.Oni

Almost leaped for Joy

 If I should rise before I fall
Into the darkness that never stalls
Know I, If you know yourself to be self indeed
There is a bright mark, Only if you have eyes to see.
I wonder, If wonder is anything at all,
I stand tall if standing small is anything at all,
I am wild if being calm is a brutal storm,
Then I am, what I am, what am I?
Each night I face the storm!
Come here, let me see peace if she can be seen,
My dreams, escalate beyond Jupiter's streams;
And care I, Lately, I care for nothing at all
I call a friend, who was an enemy in disguise!
In New Zealand, where the hills leap for joy
My Skeleton, she would flesh me 
But eschews everything I adore.
Eyes like a cat, caught in a Lover amazing awe
Dreaded delight, too many dreams of her in the night.
The moonlight shines
Here I, in dreams that dreamt the stars,
Infinite demise, eternity will decide
If she was a cousin to beauty's charm.
Is life a stream, an ever-ending spring?
Or a short discomfort
Moody with her needs.
Myriad mystery, 
She was almost six feet tall
Novial defeat, My love was ocean deep
But steep was my ill, 
A coldness brought me to the shore
Where I took a pause
And cursed the day where her sky 
Spread over my hill that almost leaped for joy!

love her dearly

 How many nights did she weep?
One hundred times or a thousand times,
And even if heaven and earth or cupids arrow
Did with all their powers spend,
Could never move my heart to love her dearly.

K.Oni

I see us running into the distance

 I see us running into the distance 
Until our sunsets on Christ's shores.
But you will not walk with me
You bid me farewell
And prayed that we never meet.

I sighed and said what a loss for me
I groaned and moaned and threw my hope.
It is what it is, what fun I would have had
To gaze upon her beauty all of my years and more.

I asked the horizon will you walk with me
Go the distance through this desert heap?
I told the wind she can come on by
And gently weep with me tonight.

Another Eve, am I a Cain?
Even he was blessed with a kiss-
I know my stains, they cry to me
But can a leopard change his skin!

K.Oni

Worthy of you

 Like Jacob’s delight in seeing Rachel
 So was mine for you -
But give me seven years to gather my wealth
And then shall I be worthy of you!

K.Oni

I will realise all of my dreams

 I will realise all of my dreams,
Much of it consist of holy living.
May I reach the heights I believe in
By God's grace I will be what he wants me to be. 

K.Oni

May I trust Him

 God has appointed salvation for us. What great love and He will keep us in perfect peace because we trust in Him. God is amazing and wonderful. He is the King of Kings and the Lord of all. He is altogether lovely and Great. May I trust Him and love him at all times!

K.Oni

Life is what it is meant to be!

 Can I be positive
When negativity is in view
Life is in decline
I have rejected optimism.
I feel the drain
The rage and the disgrace
I avoid all of my friends
And dwell in my own insanity.
The kings of kings
Forgive me for disgracing you
I wish I paid attention
And obeyed all that you wished.
Stronger gets stronger 
The demise of my incline
besides I despised
The thinking of the mice.
Tell me that you love me
Or say that you despise me
One way or another
life is what it is meant to be!

K.Oni

What am I doing?

 I want to tell her that I like her 
But it is no use.
There is a bottle in the cider
Or is it the wine I will abuse?
The melancholy drifts in
I smile in the blue.
The rain is in the clouds
Like there is love in my hue.
I had a dream of freedom
But I am chained to her lips,
The feeling feels like I am sinking
But the titanic is not in view.
I am but a shadow
The light is hid in a distant mood
I understand her feelings
There were many that I censored with my gesture, I never meant to be rude.
O, why this feeling that makes me turn to sin?
Its haunting, I pray for forgetting 
But I tempt myself by glancing at her likeness.
I am not a slave 
I chain myself to her inflexibility.
What am I doing?
When there are souls to win for eternity!

K.Oni

Black and British: A Forgotten History by David Olusoga

 As a Nigerian who came to England at a young age, I can relate to Olusoga as he tells his personal story of experiencing racism although my family did not go through the racism that he went through. The only time in my youth I ever felt racism was when I was waiting at a bus stop and some white boys threw eggs at me. Whether it was racially motivated I cannot say for certain but I sure felt hatred for those who did it.

 In secondary school, I felt that teachers loved me and if I ever got into any trouble I always got off lightly compared to my other black friends. I loved history class because the teacher that taught us was also our basketball coach. He taught me about principles and being disciplined and treated everyone the same. He didn’t care about the color of your skin but by how much you worked and took his instructions seriously.

 He didn’t hesitate to kick you out of the training session but if he saw that you were trying and had no talent, he had a lot of patience. In his history class, I learned about the Tudors and Henry Viii and a few other things but one thing that was strikingly absent was the role of black people in Britain before the slave trade. 

It was refreshing that Olusoga traces the history of black people in Britain from Roman Britain to the Tudors and then to the positive contribution of black troops in the first and second world war. Olusoga aims to remind us all that British history is a shared history and this book is an uncovering of black British history.  

The book is comprehensive as Olusoga covers a wide period of history as he traces the connections of Black people from Britain, America, and Africa. He details the impact of the slave trade on Africa and focuses on certain individuals who had a significant impact on the abolition of slavery that is often forgotten. 

The book is powerful and it accomplishes what it sets out to achieve which is to uncover the forgotten history of Black people in Britain and in the British empire. 

K.Oni

She is my delight

 She is my delight
Each day I do not fail to think of her good looks.
O, how pitiful my portion
That I must lament this yearning
And each night brings dreams 
That will never be realized.
O, to message her now and confess
Will only bring a brutal refusal
Which at this moment I cannot bear.
I cannot understand this life
Every deep fancy has escaped me.
My lot is suffering and loneliness
For every girl, I which to labour for seven years 
Has passed me by.
it is not utterly so
But blueish eyes
And graceful face
Glorious sunshine and the queen of my soul.

K.Oni

We must face every decision

 Life is what it is
We must face every decision
Look into the mirror and take responsibility. 
No hiding, for we all die
And in death, not all is forgotten
Unless forgiven
So repentance is required of all,
For we must all face our maker
Especially those who have longed disbelieved!

K.Oni

Life is war

 Life is war
Torn to pieces by my lust
The demons encore.
Deadly desires of Wealth
The three taboos
Immersed in my flesh. 
Loyal division
God and the devil?
Lucifer is content if I serve the pair
Because God will always be in the rear. 
Holy Spirit, avail me in this battle
Numerous promises broken, I've become a chattel to sin.
But life is war,
When did I stop fighting?
Did I fall asleep in the struggle,
And caved in, became content with the shadows. 
The prophetic word given
Was who will I serve?
I chose Jesus, but this is a daily vote!

K.Oni

Thank you for the opportunity

 The Lord did bless me after all of my evil sinnings. Oh, the history of Christianity! Sometimes it is hard to discern the truth. What is christ up to? I wonder often about this? But I praise him for the interview I had today for by His Spirit he put in my heart to research a question just before the interview and the question did come up. I do t think I’ll be unsuccessful but I thank God for the opportunity.

K.Oni

To Surrender

 What to say to you
After a while of not speaking.
You were always on my mind but I know that I was absent from yours.
I relinquished my desire 
Knowing that you did not care for me,
But I should have been brave
And approached you with an ultimatum.
Dear sweet love,
Tell me what you think?
As much as I have neglected you,
your beauty has failed to escape my mind.
And I am of a pious line even though I sin daily
I am not brave enough 
To lead a lady on that I do not desire her heart.
I would have soon got over you
If I could play such a game.
I would have lost myself in the touch of another woman
Who is fine and my sweet words would have kissed her lips to surrender.

K.Oni

My sweet dear

 My sweet dear
Lost to the feeling of my love
Eternal to my mind,
I always ruin what is important to you.
My soul, my eternal friend
I love you but lying repentance is my excuse.

K.Oni

The writings of Sunny Caane

 Oh Dear Sunny, the apple of my eye. I desire to see you soon. Listen to my words:

I am convinced perhaps by all of my own internal strong feelings towards her that she is to be mine. I have no external encouragement from her, in fact quiet the opposite but then a woman often makes these things hard as not to be seen as desperate. But I am fickle and too nice to pursue when all the signs are pointing elsewhere. I did it once when I knew all the signs were negative and in fact I had buried the chase until I was encouraged. I should have listened to my own wisdom but will I listen now concerning her? If my hook should catch her I would be the happiest of all fisher men and this one catch would be enough for me for my whole life. But what to do? What to do? I now await a sign from the heavens as you know I am very superstitious for I lean towards that pagan religion of astrology, and until I receive that sign I will be still. All my blessings and demise have been written long ago in the stars. I know that you are a Christian but our love for one another is so great that I see you as my constant sun. I do not know if she is still single my dear Sunny or if she is now taken by the man she loves. But life goes on day by day until in a thousand years no one remembers that I once lived in love. Please reply quickly my Sunny!

Yours forever 

Homer

Ravishing regal beam

 There was no encouragement
She went to lengths to deny it.
But I press on with a smile
One life to lead is too much to timid through.
Come what may, scorn or gloom
Can never take away my awe, of her ravishing regal beam.

K.Oni

Knowing that you are a sinner is not enough.

 Just because we know that we are wretched sinners and vile in heart does not mean that we are saved. A man may know that he is thirsty but not have water. Knowing that you are a sinner is not enough. You must be saved from your sins!

Come to Jesus, look and live! Only Jesus can save you from your miserable sins. 

K.Oni

Help us all O Lord

 Yesterday my church spoke on abortion and the evil of it. The statistics are staggering and how awful it is that we promote a culture of death while simultaneously promoting equality. The god of this world truly has blinded the minds of humanity so that they cannot see the light of Christ in the face of God. Life is a gift to be treasured and preserved and only forfeited when true justice has called it so. 

At the end of the sermon I prayed for every Christian women that has had an abortion (there are different reasons why people have an abortion)- I pray that you O Lord make them see the errors (some may not see this as an error as there may have been medical reasons why this had to be done. I do not speak to this although there may be guilt from it) of their ways if they haven’t yet seen it and may you heal them by his stripes (Jesus). May you set them free and make them know and feel the love of your goodness that their sins have been eternally forgiven. 

There are many reasons people have an abortion and some are very complicated. My part is to show compassion, to love, to pray, to serve and to fight the good fight of faith. May God lead us in all righteousness of which I fall far short. Men are also guilty, we as a community are guilty and only God can restore us all to love one another in a way that will see all evils dissolve from our midst. There is a kingdom to come and it is here. The fullness of it will come and there will be no more unrighteousness. 

Dear peace, come to the bay

 Dear peace, come to the bay
To see where the insidious sin has led me to lay,
Far beyond the jovial sky
My pursued love haply dashed without a reason why.
Two weeks of insincere strength 
My miserable spectacle stretches beyond the horizons length.

K.Oni 

Blessed be the name of the Lord

 Blessed be the name of the Lord who restores us from our wayward ways. He is truly the good shepherd who goes after the sheep. I haply wandered away from him for a while, and in my unbelief all I found was misery. The further I went away from him in my heart, the greater the darkness grew. I needed the light and to always be in the light. But he restores my soul, he leads me in the path of righteousness. 

He has told me no less than that for his name I would suffer. The storm will rise and descend my way but he will not leave me nor forsake me. He sleeps during the storm so that I can smile at the storm. Oh, help my unbelief. And to know his will, I must be content with his word and follow all that he has revealed. But whether I will live tomorrow or do this or that, then I happily submit to his immutable sovereignty. He declares the end and the begining. He gives the result as well as the means. 

Oh, thank you Jesus for loving me when I have disgraced your name to the host of heaven by falling to depraved sins. O, forgive me sweet Lord!

K.Oni

May my obedience increase

 My sins are deep - deeper than the bottom of the sea. 
What am I to do. I want to pray but my flesh is too weak.
Will I ever win, I do believe, help my unbelief.
The world is looking in, I can't slip but deep inside
I am falling and afraid I won't get back up.
The Lord will fight for me
May my obedience increase.
I want to see God, but only the pure in heart will see his face.

K.Oni

Forgive me Lord for all of my wicked ways

 Forgive me Lord for all of my wicked ways.
I have done wickedly even after you have blessed me.
I have been a beast unsatisfied with your ways.
I drank deep at the ways of the world, drinking its wine of lust and flesh of greed
I have not loved my portion and have been discontent.
Forgive me Lord and let me change my ways.

I will return to the ways of patience and seeking only Joy in thee.
Bless me with the joy of your salvation that you alone can give.
May I continue in prayer and be free from the burden of guilt.
Blessed always be your name, now and forevermore
Amen!

K.Oni

Discharge me from her friendship

 She is still in my thoughts lingering optimistically in my head.
What shall I do? Pretense is a hopeless purpose. 
If beauty had a face, her graceful face will always be beauty's choice. 
I cannot disclose such passionate reflection in conversation,
She will discharge me from her friendship with eternal silence. 
But I do not mourn for I am happily married
Taken by an arresting eye
That her jail is a cathedral to me. 

K.Oni

help me crucify every selfish way and desire

 Dear Lord, help me crucify every selfish way and desire. Help me be the light who reflects the light of Christ. O to be selfless and consider others first. Help me walk in step with the Holy spirit. Heal me of all my diseases. In crucifying all of my selfish ways, may I serve without bounds knowing that nothing done for the Lord Jesus is done in vain. O, may I love endlessly and sacrificially given my whole life knowing that in Christ I gain all that there is to gain. 

K.Oni

Pray for all

I love to pray and how sweetly did I pray today. In my desires, I prayed for all I wanted and then rested on His will to be done. I prayed for the happiness of many who did not seek my happiness and was thoroughly convinced that they did not pray for me. O, I prayed for their happiness and joy. For God to shine His wonderful face upon them. I prayed for long old friends. I prayed for friends who no longer thought of me, friends whom I have forgotten, people with whom we did not see eye to eye on the important matters, I prayed for those who rejected me with cause and those without cause. I prayed for all of their happiness and my heart felt strangely warm. 

K.Oni

Incline your ears to my misery

May I always do the things, yes the better things pertaining to salvation.
The depths of my wickedness is great.
How I mourn at my own miseries.
May I learn to serve my friends and my enemies.
May I love all with that sweet love of God.
O mercy on my miserable head
Shower me with your cleansing hyssop and I shall be clean.
Wash my feet, O Lord
Incline your ears to my misery.
Forgive me for all of my trespass. 

K.Oni

If God wills, I will live and do this or that

If God wills I will live and do this or that. 

The decisive willing in all of my doing is God. To use an example, If God wills, I will eat breakfast tomorrow morning before I go to work or not. I want to have breakfast but the decisive willing, in eating my breakfast is God. This is why James rebukes the attitudes of those who presume that their will is sovereign. James says, “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.” James‬ ‭4:13-16‬ 

Prov 19:21 says “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” It is the Lord's will that stands and it always does. There is no situation where His sovereign will does not stand because nothing in this world is independent of Him. We all have our being in God. 

It is right to plan and to will because we are called to do this. But all of our plans and willing is always subject to if the Lord wills. This is the Christian way of life. the Christian knows this. It is not luck or chance for those things are nothing, but it all depends on God, so we pray. Let your will be done!

K.Oni 

The ones I could never forget

New love has dawned on me.
How Marvelous and inspiring -
We speak long into the night
And sweetened are the days with her.
Yet, old love remains,
The ones I could never forget
That I will carry until eternity ends.

K.Oni

The writings of Sunny Caane

 Dear Sunny

I feel that friendship is not in her heart for me even though she declares it. Her eyes pity me because she is unable to return my love. What would friendship yield to one who is besotted with her? O, a sweet one because I have learnt to desire the good of my enemies and there is no feeling greater than the loving passion for a woman. Even this I can discard and wish for her eternal happiness. I desire that her life is full of bliss and that the good Lord blesses her a hundredfold just like how I have desired for the many before her who have eschewed me. That bitter vice of jealousy is not in me as she is not mine but God who owns her. And God has seen to it in his infinite wisdom that we should not be and yet I pray against this and yet I pray for His will be done and yet pray for her felicity. O, my gift to her is happiness even though I have no part in it. It is happiness that I give her at the cost of my life to obtain.  

Your sweet hopeful friend

Inis 

K.Oni

Forgive me

 When will I be perfectly righteous as to always chose holiness?
O, may my desire be so good that I forsake all that displeases my Lord!
Lust of the eyes, that evil fiend that ensnares me
Lust of life, that devil that keeps me in fear
Lust of the flesh, that weakens me to chose the world.
O three devils, do know that Christ has defeated you 
And I will rise each day, no matter how many battles I have lost,
I will rise in tears and go to war again.
Like Job, you cannot take my life, yea you cannot take my eternal life
But you can take my daily joy of which I will not easily surrender.
O, may I tell the truth at all times and bring joy to the fellowship of all goodness.
Forgive me my great king of my vast wickedness,
Forgive me!

K.Oni

The Writings of Sunny Canne

 Ah Sunny, see my words below. I hunger to be a better man and a better lover. I will see you soon my one true friend but read over my words and confession to a lady:

I said words that I didn't mean; like I could never be neutral towards you as your blueish eyes looked upon me in pity. I lied as I struggled to find words to convince you to love me and those words pushed you further away. 

You inquired why I desired you and my lies reached new heights. In truth, I desired you and despaired many nights over you but not to the depths I had you imagined. O I am a wicked man and you did well in disobeying my call. Many women have been ruined by my sweet words and although I lack charm, even more, my intimacy is insufficient. 

I am a man whose head is always in another place. My lips may be with your lips but my brain is elsewhere. Many have said my kisses and caresses are sweet, but it is the sweetness of a bad thing. Loving me would have been your greatest sin. 

There is not a relationship that I have enjoyed so much as to not dance with another. My feet are always moving from the beach to the secretness of a dark room where you are not present. And although I will always look upon you with great affection, and will always desire your company, you did well to completely remove me from your friendship. 

Many women have been ruined by keeping me around and I must say that I am a better man than I was. I was always wooing some lady whom I desire no love from, but it made me glad to see her affections for me in her eyes. This reduced my loneliness because My dear Sunny is never around. He is the only one who erases all of my deep sadness. 

Forgive me fair lady and all of the ladies before - My confession springs for my newfound joy in something deep that is immaterial. They tell me that you are now thrilled with love. You have reached the love of your life and he has accepted you forever. For this, I raise my glass and toast to your eternal happiness. It is strange for me to write this for no one demanded it. Perhaps this is my therapy as your ears have no more time for my speech. 

I remember the long nights of gazing at your feelings. You searching my mind to see the deep agonies that I refused to disclose. You marveled at my knowledge and I was awed by your unbounded ways. As much as I was intimidated by you, I felt safe but not so safe as to tell you that another beauty much like you, perhaps even better also had my heart. 

Whatever our friendship was, it was to me a sweet passage of time. I don't know if I ever loved you for what love is, I do not know if I am capable of such a thing as to love a woman entirely in a way that I will always be present, only time will tell.

Time will tell me if I will overcome my aches and time will tell me if I will finally surrender myself into the hands of a woman. 

Those were my words, Sweet Sunny. I will visit soon and let us go by the river to enjoy the quiet waters of where much of our childhood was spent. O, those ravishing days my Sunny. You taught me to love but I moved away too soon for your teaching to reach its maturity in my heart. You are my sun and my sky - yours is a friendship I will gladly die for.

Forever yours - 

David 

K.Oni

You feel the same

The lovely ray shines forth,
Her Scarlett hair that I do adore.
O what a glow I feel for you and you look at me with a lovely hue.
Yet we cannot mix -
From afar we look
But I hear you feel the same - my golden bird, my luminous evening moon.

K.Oni

What ills and troubles are currently in your life?

In all of my ills, how can I be so grieved as to want to curse God when I know that he works it all for my good. Like Habakkuk, in tears I say, “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior." Habakkuk‬ ‭3:17-18‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Habakkuk goes on to say, “God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places. ” Habakkuk‬ ‭3:19‬ ‭

You see the strength to overcome all of our ills and grieves and disappointment comes from the Lord. The grief is real, the decline is real, sometimes there will be no one to love us and our friends will cut us off from the fold, our lover will betray us, depression will hit us, our health will fail, we will fail others and ourselves, there is no minimizing this. It is real and raw and thus to survive it, God's strength is real and unshakeable. It makes us stand in the storm and enables us to endure the lashes that will lead us to Calvary and on that cross of pain we take our last breath, and because we have the strength of the Lord with us - we do not curse but say, Father forgive them and unto your hand, I commit my spirit.

What ills and troubles are currently in your life? Are anxiety and depression the crushing blows that attack you to misery? O, is it loneliness? Is it poverty? Is it rejection? Is it a past trauma? Is it a desire to have someone so close and they discard you? Is it a mother's disdain?  is it a debilitating illness? Is it a broken heart? Whatever it is, O, consider Job who was hit with the strongest blows from the devil, he was bashed and belted with all of the disorders of life except for death, and in all this, it is said of him, 'Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.' 

Dear friend, God is in control. Let His kindness in all of your ache bring you closer to him in repentance. Habakkuk declared when he envisioned the misery that may come that He will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour. We will do well to adopt the same frame of mind. So, in all of our tears and groaning, we are joyful because God is in control. The host of hell will not rejoice over us in our misery saying look how despondent the children of God are, but as they watch us in our misery, their anger will increase a million fold because instead of complaining without hope, they see us rejoicing in the God who gives us strength. Our feet will be like a dancing deer!

K.Oni

I love God's Sovereignty.

 I would say perhaps the most comforting of doctrine for me is God's Sovereignty. This is always followed by God's love for me because whatever happens to me is under His control and He permits it all for my good. 

This is comforting because ultimately I go to God for all that happens to me and how can I be mad when his motives are pure towards me. If I am mad, I am furious at myself for falling into sins He has warned me to keep from. But when calamities befall me, especially injuries of the heart which are the worst of ills, I turn to God. 

I ask why and upon reflection I ask why not me. What did I ever deserve but the worst as I am the worst of sinners. I merit no happiness except the happiness to come because I am in Christ Jesus. And even this I did not have the right to. It was grace that kissed me in my bed of worthlessness. 

So when tribulation materializes upon me, I kiss the hands that permitted it. How can I be mad at the greenish-blue eyes that rejected me? How can I be discontent at my present stage in life which is beneath my expectations? How can I be unhinged by all of my failures, all of which I am sorry for. Tomorrow is a new day, a day of mercy guided by Sovereign hands.

So, I am ever comforted that my life is not directionless, even though I feel it is unindustrious, but it is guided by his grip who often dashes me against the quarry of agony. But my allotment is tamed compare to others. After all, I have not yet given my life in my struggle against sin. 

It will all work out for my good. This good is the good determined by the kindness of my God who loves me dearly and gave His Son for me. Therefore, at each turn of bruise and discomfort, especially the heart's wounds, I embrace Him and praise Him for he holds me and am gladful that I am in his hands rather than the evil hands of my enemies. 

K.Oni

Each dream brings you closer

 There is something about you without fear
Which is inside you, I cannot explain my attraction.
Perhaps the battle is lost but not the war!
I must release my obsession but each dream brings you closer. 
O to denounce you in the morning 
Vouching to lose consciousness of you,
But my will to disregard your beauty is unconquerable.
Perhaps, it is not the time to emancipate myself from you. 

K.Oni

When was the last time the Holy Spirit led you?

When was the last time the Holy Spirit led you? How did you know that it was the Holy Spirit?

Let each one reflect on how they are led by the Spirit if they have been led at all. Have you recently prayed about a decision that you were not sure about and after prayer was there clarity?

Did you feel the Holy Spirit leading you? Did you acknowledge his guidance or was your acknowledgment after the fact, that is after the guidance had taken place that upon reflection you realised that it was the Holy Spirit that has led you.  

Whatever way we feel that the Holy Spirit leads us, one thing is for sure namely that the Holy Spirit will never lead us to sin. His ways are ways of righteousness. The Holy Spirit is God and we should never say when tempted, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone, (James 1:13). 

Jesus indeed was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. The Spirit is not the tempter. Likewise, we can be led into the wilderness to be tested and we ought to always pray, lead us not into temptation, that is for the temptation not to overcome us. But deliver us from evil. 

K.Oni

I knew a sad boy

I knew a sad boy who came to me and said: 

Ah she is repelled by  me - she detest me. But she thinks not of me so how can that be hate? It is apathy which is worse than hostility. But it is not even that. It is an outright abomination. An humiliating pity. Life is life which gives sour medicine - I desire to laugh and thrust it off for I will not be hung up on a woman’s amen. Goodbye my love, you were only my love in my head - goodbye my grief-stricken song I will sing you no more.

K.Oni

My sins are great

 Forgive me Lord, my iniquities are great.
O mercy and grace for your lowly servant.
May I not be a hypocrite. 
In all of my weaknesses may I always seek your face. 

K.Oni

What am I doing in my own strength?

Without Christ I can do nothing (John 15:5). What are all the things that I am trying to do without Christ? This is to say that what are the things I am trying to do in my own strength? 

Upon reflection, the things I am trying to do in my own strength is to bring about the desired results that I want, namely success in the flesh so that I can walk proudly in this world. We will come back to this. Let us focus on what Jesus said to his disciples. 'Apart from me, you can do nothing.' 

Someone may say but each day we see many men and women do a great deal in the world. There are billions that are not in Christ who have advanced the world greatly. They have done something rather than nothing. We must acknowledge that this passage is speaking about those in Christ bearing fruit as it pertains to the Kingdom of God. But also, there are men and women that are not in Christ who are not Christians, who are not abiding in Christ so consequently they cannot bear fruit for they are not in the vine. It is said elsewhere that for whatever does not proceed from faith is sin, (Romans 14:23). This is to say as Augustine puts it: 

'Not that you may say, “Before I believed I was already doing good works, and therefore was I chosen.” For what good work can be prior to faith, when the apostle says, “Whatsoever is not of faith is sin”?' (Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Vol. 7). 

So, those that are not in Christ are really doing a great deal of nothing because it does not proceed from faith and therefore it is not done for Christ which ultimately makes it vain. It is sinful although the benefits may result in a great deal of benefit for mankind. For example, the atheist who feeds the poor has done in worldly terms a good thing but this very thing does not please God because as it says in Hebrews 11:6 that without faith it is impossible to please God.  

Faith and action are two sides of the same coin if it is to please God. And this faith will naturally proceed from the people who are in Christ and they are the ones who can bear true lasting fruit. On the day of judgement it is not the act alone that will be judged but the motives too which is where all that are without Christ will be found wanting. Let me not be found wanting in my motives. May I do all that I do in faith which will glorify God.  

Now to go back to what I started with in asking the question, what are the things that I am trying to do in my own strength? To ask this another way, what are the things that I am doing without faith? Faith will leave the end results to God's good pleasure.  

In my work, sometimes I work in my own strength and forget that I am really doing this for Christ so I ought to always display that Christian attitude and energy even if it is contrary to my work expectations. I must work in the strength of Christ and always in faith. I will do well if I do a thing and say into your hands I commit my deeds.  
 
In my relationships, sometimes I want all to like me so much so that I play the man. I am not resting on the strength of Christ. Or I am so lazy in maintaining relationships that I am not walking in the strength of Christ and would rather eschew my responsibility so as to avoid all hurt and pains. 

At times, I fail to honour my parents.  Whatever it may cost me, I should not be afraid to lead a lady or pursue her whom I so desire even if she refuses me because I walk in the strength of Christ. And I should not play the field as to take upon myself a non-Christian lady and lead her on for in this I am not walking in the strength of Christ but fulfilling my own desires because of a lack of faith that Christ can fulfil my needs. I should not be so weakened by past rejections that I fail to trust anyone or love anyone. Faith forgets what is behind and presses continuously towards Christ. Christ is able to heal if I walk in his strength.  

I should be content with what I have and at the same time strive to increase in all avenues in the strength of Christ. Ambition is a great thing and even greater when grounded in Christ. Christ would see that his disciples go about all the earth to make disciples of every people. Jerusalem was not enough!  

I have many failings and I have done many things in my own strength. My prayer is that this becomes less and less and that each day I always remember that I have Jesus and can always do all things through him who gladly strengthens me.  

K.Oni 

The Spirit puts me in place

 Let me tell you straight up that you are a beauty
I am enamoured by your cheeks and your eyes
It's serenity. 
I imagine kissing your lips and serving you for all eternity.
I pray and I plead 
In the end, I say let His will be done.
I know that you don't love me
My status disappoints you.
I sigh, and each night I drink a fifth of Hennessy.
Long legs and brown hair, you are a curse 
That keeps cursing me.
I wish I had no feeling 
Or you straight up blocked me.
Why do I feel, I wish God will free me.
So I reach out and entice ladies to numb the pain,
But I could never complete
The Spirit puts me in place. 

K.Oni

Reflecting God's character

 There are many ways in which I want my life to reflect the Character of God. The first of this is to be holy. God demands of his people, "You shall be holy, for I am holy" (1 Peter 1:16). God's holiness is his absolute separateness from all other beings or things in existence. Hannah sings in 1 Samuel 2:2, “There is none holy like the LORD: for there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God." It is not this holiness that I am after but after the ethical holiness of God. God calls us to resemble his ethical holiness to be pure as he is pure. My holiness consist in living a life of righteousness as God as revealed. I am to do what is good as Micah 6:8 puts it, "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" This is to be my daily relationship with the world and with my neighbour. O, I am to kiss kindness and embrace humility and distribute justice.  

Another way I want my life to reflect the character of God is to be full of love. 1 John 4:8 tells us that "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." This is who God is and if I claim to know God then I must love. This love consists in a given of my self to the needs of the people. As 1 John 3:17 states "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?" This love is not merely in thought but in deed. The ultimate love was shown by God in given us his Son. John 3:16 states, "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son". See, here we see again that love is a given. It is not a passive thought but a thinking with action. Love walks and runs and fights and ultimately gives. It gives away that which is most precious to us namely our lives. Christ said, "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." 

 
I want my life to be marked by giving. O may I not spare anything if it contributes to displaying love to my friends. It is said of God in Romans 8:32 that "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" God is a giver. He will ultimately give us all things. The sanctified in heart will know that this all things are things that pertains to our blessedness as it is written in Ephesians 1:3 "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms."  

O my friends, here are all my things. Here is my life in the service of you all so that Christ my saviour can be magnified. The love I have is not my own but it is the love of Christ that is in me. His love has become my love! May I reflect his generosity and humility. Christ emptied himself and took the form of a servant. The messiah is the one who serves and we are called to serve him and to serve each other. Love is a constant giving and in this giving we are receiving. It is a double edged sword. We are receiving from God and if the church is as it should be in loving one another, then all the members will all be receiving and given love. O, what a holy atmosphere! The angels will marvel and that observation of old that was said of the early church by the pagan world will be said of us, 'Look how they love one another!' 
 
O, teach me how to love dear Lord. Teach me your holiness! Pray this prayer for your soul. Ask and you shall receive!  

K.Oni